5 posts tagged “sunday”

Yup.  Another Easy Dating Tip from your Romance Coach and Online Dating Coach.  Perhaps you were worried that  I had, eek, RUN OUT OF IDEAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ooooo noooooo, say it ain't so!!!

No worries.  I got a million of 'em.  With me, my clients are NEVER in a dating rut with NOTHING they can do on a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday to GO MEET MORE PEOPLE and GET DATES or GET MORE DATES. 

Yesterday I encouraged you to go try a YOGA class to get a romantic date. 

Now, I mainly talked to MEN about doing this for meeting Da Ladies.

However, and here's your bonus freebie (free on top of free, is what?  Uber Free?) because this blog is going to be an other Easy Dating Tip, other than about Yoga.

So, as a bonus, the thing is, ladies, YOU can take Yoga Classes to meet MEN, too.  It's not just The Reverse of yesterday. 

Part of the point of TRY SOMETHING new and stretching yourself (HAD to say it, we're talking about Yoga, right?) is to do something a bit different than what is 100% you you you SO you can meet someone WITH WHOM YOU HAVE CHEMISTRY.

If they are IDENTICAL to you, no chemistry, no fun, no surging passion.  And I don't know about you, but I have GOT to have some surging PASSION in MY romantic relationships.

So ladies, if Yoga is not quite YOUR THING what you NORMALLY DO, then for YOU to take a Yoga class IS a stretch.  And you might meet some nice man who is working on loosening up his hockey thighs. 

That was my OVER DELIVERY part since this is a FREE Easy Dating Tips Advise Blog, where other Romance Coaches will actually CHARGE you for the pleasure of reading their articles so you could actually get a sense of would I want to work with YOU in particular.  I've learned all about Over Delivery from MR. Over Delivery Himself, Motivational Speaker, Master of Persuasion, Kevin Hogan. 

Now for the real point of this blog.

Yup.  More MOVING.  It's Summer Time.  I am all about GETTING OUT, GETTING MOVING, Lookin Good!  and GETTING HEALTHY.

JOIN AN ACTIVITIES CLUB.

Around here we have Absolute Adventures.

Join a Hiking Club.Cycling.Scrabblers who Blog.  Kettlebelling.  Ju Jitsu.  Chi Gung.  Tae Kwan Do. Kirate.  TreadMillsRUs. Jogging.  Power Walkers.  Marathon Runners.  Triathlon Training.  Volley Ball.  Beach Volley Ball.  Volley Ball at the Park.  Tennis.  Baseball.  Softball.  Frisbee Golf.  Swimming.  Golf  (where's John?).  Basketball.  Street Hockey (cause it's gonna be a long long summer without the NHL!). 

See what I mean?

Even if you just try a day or two of each, that's enough for the next 6-9 months for your calendar.  Because of course, with ALL of these Easy Dating Tips, you are going to mix 'em up and do some different things at different times, right?

Enjoy and have fun.  Remember to bring your 35+ Sunscreen, Right?  We've learned that from Dr. Helton who sure know all about  Making Your Skin Beautiful without Surgery.

All the best,

April Braswell

Romance Coach, Online Dating Coach

To expand further on my idea and metaphor of TAKE A DETOUR:

TAKE A DETOUR AND FOLLOW THESE SIGNS:
Take a slightly different route to/from Church today.  (OK, so it's already afternoon where you are, so you can do this NEXT Sunday or even when you go to a mid-week evening service, or to drop your teens off at the Youth Fellowship)

Eat breakfast at a Denny's and sit at the counter.  Denny's is one of the few places I know that still has a COUNTER.  Around here in Silicon Valley we have this WONDERFUL breakfast place named Nini's.  Nini's still has counter service.  It is a secret I will tell you more about as another April Braswell Unique Easy Dating Tip.  In another post later.  Today at Denny's or whatever equivalent where you live, say "Hello" to the people to your left and to your right as you sip your coffee and half read the Sunday Paper.  You may need the social excuse to break the sound barrier of being able to say, "Would you please pass me the half-and-half?"  Or the Tabasco sauce bottle.  Or the salt and pepper.  They are your props.  Use whatever you can just to break that sound barrier.  You are practicing your social skills and positioning yourself for other singletons to see you.  You never know who you are going to meet or what new tidbit of information they will provide to you.  "Hey, you know, I'm single too.  Where do you like to go to meet single people your age?" Or "What do you do to meet other single people your age?"  "Really?  Wow, I'll have to remember that.  It sounds great.  Thank you.  I like to go to XYX"  or  "I like to do XYZ."  Again, thank them, and then turn back to your coffee or paper.  You are not trying to impose yourself too long beyond 3-5 sentences unless they are responsive in conversation with you.  If they utter 1 or 2 sentences, then they are just being polite.  If they utter 3-5 sentences, they might be interested in a conversation with you. 

John, you can even do this with your boys with you.  In a way, they are your props.  Trust me, they are so cute and handsome.  Every waitress will be delighted to chit chat with them.  Demonstrate and model your confident male conversation behavior with your waitress by simply engaging her in a little polite conversation.  Find SOMETHING to compliment her about.  That ALONE is already a great male dating behavior, a Dating Best Practice. 

Compliment the ladies.
The best compliments to women you are dating is on how they look, smell, sound, and are dressed.  When I say how they SMELL, I mean, compliment her perfume or in the absence of perfume her freshly showered smell.  "You sure look beautiful in that dress."  "You're so beautiful."  "You're so pretty."

Ok, but back to the waitress.  This is for small talk and you're maybe not trying to date her.  Just demonstrate and model SMALL TALK WITH WOMEN for your boys and get some practice in for yourself, too.

In which case, admire her waitressing.  Read her name tag is you can, and address her by her name.

"Jill, I was just telling my twin boys here how much I admired the great service you're giving us, filling our coffee and water all the time like you do.  How long have you been working here?  Have you been waitressing long?"

She will say something like, "Twins! Wow.  Oh, I'm a student at the local community college, and I've only just started working here." 

That was about 2-3 sentences.  She's got other tables to serve, just you're being gracious and convivial here.  They're well-practiced at this in The South (Yann and David, that's just another region within The States where they are very gracious, slower-paced and just about always have the time to connect with other people.  I know you both have crosssed The Pond a number of times.  Just to give you context.).  So, say maybe 1-2 more sentences to her, and let her get back to work.

"Wow, Jill, you've only just started.  That's very impressive.  Well, you're doing a great job.  Keep up the good work."

If she seems to have a minute or two more to talk, you could always add.

"You're studying at the community college?  That's great.  What are you studying?  My twin boys just back from serving our country in Iraq and are considering going back to college."

She might then tell you what she is studying.

Or if she is say, over 30 as a waitress, she might then turn to your boys, admire them, and ask THEM what they are considering studying.

This is all just to demonstrate to you some of the possible ways to practice your gracious communication skills and model it and your POISE WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX to your boys. Avoid putting them on the spot if you think they will socially panic like deer caught in the headlights, "Dad!  Don't make me talk to GIRLS.  I don't know HOW."  Well, they won't SAY that.  Their faces will. You know them best.

OK.  That's enough for today.  Congratulate yourself on the practice you got in.

Great job!

All the best,

April Braswell

Romance Coach, Online Dating Coach

Hi from the romantic heart of Silicon Valley, your Romance Coach and Online Dating Coach. 

Well, with all the street fairs and festivals that have started that I just blogged about and recommended that you check out, roadways are blocked off.  Our usual routes to

the shopping center
the shopping mall
our favorite bar
the social hall
the office
church

ARE BLOCKED!

I was driving up the San Francisco this morning to get my hair DONE at Joseph Cozza salon in The Gump's Building on Maiden Lane.  And, wouldn't you know it?  My usual route to 101 was BLOCKED to make room for Sunset Magazine's Street Festival.  Hmm, I'll have to WALK over there (save some gas!) tomorrow and make some new friends and maybe even some new dates.

I had to TAKE A DETOUR.

And that got me thinking.

I've said this before in some different ways, but in order to MEET MORE PEOPLE and ergo GET MORE DATES, we need to do SOMETHING DIFFERENT.

Awhile back when I was suggesting that we try some classes at the Community College, or the Learning Annex, or WHEREVER.  A coupla of the people responded saying grandma's favorite advise, "Oh, just do the activities you love, and you'll meet someone." 

Well.....

You might. 

And if you are 26 and not really serious about wanting to be in a great fulfilling and satisfying longterm romantic relationship that would lead to Marriage or your Life Partner (whether you covenant or not), sure, just keep doing what you doing and enjoying and maybe it will happen.

But if you are over 28 and you are starting to think about, "Heyyyyyy, you know, I really enjoy being Single.  Being Single is great.  I have a lot of fun with my friends.  But.... ah, I kinda want to be in a relationship.... How do I really DO that now?"  Then you actually need to....

DO NEW THINGS

Now as my buddy, Motivational Life Coach, Sue Crutcher recommends.  Baby Steps.  Baby Steps to change.

I am not suggesting that you move to France, New Orleans, or Phoenix, AZ. 

You do not need to move THOUSANDS of miles away.  Although you may have some reasons for doing so, and I cover that in my Romantic Love eBook (soon to be released, I'm reworking it).  But in general, what DOES help is to do some new things which are few degrees different than what you are doing now.

That way, you meet people who are more likely ALIGNED with you, but sufficiently DIFFERENT than you to create CHEMISTRY.  We NEED those differences for ROMANCE and SEXUAL ATTRACTION.  Vive la différence!  Thank God for them, or life would be too dull.

So, where I am, it is still early evening (my date is later tonight).  what about TONIGHT?  what are you doing?  Are you home alone?  Stop downloading the Porn as I tell my male clients, power down your computers.  (You're gasping to be taken away from that Life Line.....)  Ladies?  Put DOWN the Romance Novel and go Write One of YOUR OWN!

and GET OUT.

Go to a bar for 90 minutes.
Go to a country western bar at about 7/7:30 pm for their Dance Lessons.  you will meet 25 new people and a new skill.  Introduce yourself to each person you dance with.  Ask 7 of them to dance with you afterward.  I don't care if they are their with their GF or BF.  You just politely turn to the GF/BF and say,  "I'm a novice and could really use the practice.  Would you mind if I danced this dance with James?Abdul?  Jane?Sonia?"  Only a CLOD would say NO to that polite, respectful, couple honoring request.  It might be THEIR favorite song, but then they'll probably say, "How about the NEXT song?"  And if you are a man, you say to that lady who is already taken, "What you two have is really great."  And you just sort of plant the seeds to be fixed up with any of her single girlfriends.  You might even buy them a round of drinks and hang while drinking it, chit chatting.  Many ladies LOVE to play matchmaker, and you just might get a date from it.  You can always say,  "I'll be back here in 2 wks.  If you're GF would be more comfortable, she could just join the dance class then, and we'd meet then.  Thanks!"

If CW dance is REALLY not your thing.  There are Salsa classes.  VERY sexy.

I don't care WHAT you do.  You just CANNOT stay at HOME on Saturday night.  GET OUT.

Then report back to me what you did to be accountable.  (that includes that 28 yo man from The South here.....)

All the best,

April Braswell

Romance Coach, Online Dating Coach

Well, it's Monday morning.

Have you made your coffee yet? 

Ok, so I DO believe in being frugal and not going OUT and buying a cup of coffee every day.  So normally I am making a pot of coffee at home.

HOWEVER!  If you are single and you haven't been on a date this weekend....

Or you DID go on dates this weekend and there really aren't going to be any date #2s of out these....
then you could go to a coffee joint and get some coffee in a public place.  Put this in your dating budget.  You have one, right?

So!  You've tried EVERYTHING!  You've EXHAUSTED all of your resources around you?  You're friends - marrieds and singles have no more friends or acquaintances with which to fix you up.

And you're still not engaged.

Now what?

Go hiking!

Look up for your metro area all the hiking clubs.

What churches in your area meet for a monthly hike?  Get on their email list.  Better still, pick up the PHONE and talk to the leader.   Introduce yourself.  I'm Bob, I'm 33 and quite fit.  Are there different fitness levels in the group?  That's OK?  Good.

Sierra Club

Absolute Adventures

Go Google athletic and adventure clubs in your metro area.

Place an add in Craig's Iist looking to form a hiking group of singles.  Arrange to meet for breakfast at iHop or Denny's first so you all gaggle, socialize and feel safe with each other, and then go for a hike.

Check out the training classes at REI, Northface or the local outdoors outfitter store near where YOU live.

Now shift 10 miles north.  Or 25 miles east.  Or 37 miles south.

Expand your radius just a little so you stretch yourself.

Feeling in a rut?

Plan a trip to get away and just GO SOMEWHERE different.  Check out Scott Bell, The Road Warrior's website for some travel ideas.

MOVE/shift your body.

I'll continue in the same direction tomorrow.

Trust me, you have NOT met everyone and you have NOT exhausted your metro area.  Expand your vision.

You're going to have more fun AND meet new people!

God bless and God speed!

April Braswell
Romance Coach, Online Dating Coach

Yup.  It's Sunday.  First of all, in my life, this is the most important day of the year.  Yes, it's my birthday.  Why does that make it the most important day of the year for me?  Cause I am REALLY REALLY glad to have BEEN born and to BE ALIVE!

You will definitely notice laced throughout my blog and My Website, April Braswell, Romance Coach, Online Dating Coach that THEME of LIVE! LIVE! LIVE!  I already had that tendency before I met my late husband.  And indeed, he was drawn to my unique combination of beauty and vivacity.  (I know, it's true, I AM having too much fun.  Wanna join me?  It's contagious. You'll have fun 2!)  Something I really got to LIVE OUT with walking along side him with his battle with cancer was to treat him LIKE A MAN throughout, not an invalid or a patient, never doing FOR him what he could do himself, helping HIM to do it, but he did it.  And to LIVE UNTIL WE DIE.  too many people are so caught up in the fears for our security in usually our jobs and sometimes our relationships (like marriage becomes a prison or the fear of it keeps us single, like, forever) that we never take the risks to LIVE.  Take some risks in communication.

Soooo, what about TODAY, you're wondering.  You're probably already thinking to yourself,  "She's ALREADY advised that I try out a different CHURCH.  April has GOT to suggest something NEW and DIFFERENT!"

Yup.  And I'm gonna.  But remember, you have a list now of like, 23 churches you can go try out.  Don't go into cognitive dissonance and overwhelm, just make a list, put a Sunday date next to it, but those in your calendar and ROTATE!

And for today?  Where am I going to send you?

To the Laundromat!

Yup, I GOTTA do laundry.  I have reached what I refer to as The Laundry Imperative.

I actually have SOME clothes left which I can wear.  And while I LOVE Jennifer Skinner's Blog on The VERY Small Closet I'm just not THERE yet (it's a process, I know she'd support me in this and the de-layering of casting off clothes.  And yes, I have 2 more outfits that are GOING!).  In fact, it's part of the side effect of NOT having a Washer Dryer that I have collected more clothes so I can go longer between laundromat runs.  Like back in college when you'd buy MORE underwear so you could go longer without having to hang in the laundry room?  Similar.

Soooo, on one hand, oye, yes, Laundromats are BUSY on the weekends!

But if you are single, that is the whole point!

GO WHEN IT IS BUSY!

You WILL meet people.

OK, some of the single men have been asking me to give more scripts for MEN to use here. 

Men, you can ALWAYS safely ask a woman about laundry.  "Tide?  Do you find that's really better than the generic?  What do you like about it?"  (Notice the second sentence was an open ended sentence.  The point here is for her to speak a sentence to you, not just utter, as "Yes" or a "No.")  "Really.  That's great.  Do you like any of the dryer sheets?  Which ones?"  Once your laundry is in the washer or in the dryer, "hey, I was going to go around the corner and grab a coffee at Starbucks.  Can I bring you back a latte?  Would you like to join me?"

That is not even a coffee date.  That is like in college when you'd grab a bite to eat.  This is just friendly banter and a coffee.  You're just NATURALLY and CASUALLY meeting and connecting with women.  It's like a mutual compliment.  You don't even have to be HUGELY enamored of her.  The point is PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE. 

Now of course, if you DID find her fabulous and attractive (oh no, you're beautiful and brainy! toe curling combination, I get this all the time.  They can't stand it.), be a MAN, and say, "Leslie, I'd like to take you out on a REAL date.  [omg, yes, you used THAT WORD - Date!  ahhhh. But we're adults here and you're good with that.]  Can I get your phone number so I can call you?"  And if you're really really good and want to distinguish yourself MASSIVELY as a man, you'll say, "I want to take you out on a real date.  How is Friday night for you?  7 o'clock?"  Just be ready to catch her cause she's going to fall out of her chair and her mouth will be slightly agape.  As she closes her mouth, the words that will come out of her mouth will be.... "Yes."  Or "Yes, that sounds like fun!"

Now go back and fold your laundry.  After she says yes, go ahead and shoot me an email and let me know how it goes!  apriljbraswell@aol.com

Mazel tov!

April Braswell
Romance Coach, Online Dating Coach