5 posts tagged “salsa”

Yup.  Another Easy Dating Tip from your Romance Coach and Online Dating Coach.  Perhaps you were worried that  I had, eek, RUN OUT OF IDEAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ooooo noooooo, say it ain't so!!!

No worries.  I got a million of 'em.  With me, my clients are NEVER in a dating rut with NOTHING they can do on a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday to GO MEET MORE PEOPLE and GET DATES or GET MORE DATES. 

Yesterday I encouraged you to go try a YOGA class to get a romantic date. 

Now, I mainly talked to MEN about doing this for meeting Da Ladies.

However, and here's your bonus freebie (free on top of free, is what?  Uber Free?) because this blog is going to be an other Easy Dating Tip, other than about Yoga.

So, as a bonus, the thing is, ladies, YOU can take Yoga Classes to meet MEN, too.  It's not just The Reverse of yesterday. 

Part of the point of TRY SOMETHING new and stretching yourself (HAD to say it, we're talking about Yoga, right?) is to do something a bit different than what is 100% you you you SO you can meet someone WITH WHOM YOU HAVE CHEMISTRY.

If they are IDENTICAL to you, no chemistry, no fun, no surging passion.  And I don't know about you, but I have GOT to have some surging PASSION in MY romantic relationships.

So ladies, if Yoga is not quite YOUR THING what you NORMALLY DO, then for YOU to take a Yoga class IS a stretch.  And you might meet some nice man who is working on loosening up his hockey thighs. 

That was my OVER DELIVERY part since this is a FREE Easy Dating Tips Advise Blog, where other Romance Coaches will actually CHARGE you for the pleasure of reading their articles so you could actually get a sense of would I want to work with YOU in particular.  I've learned all about Over Delivery from MR. Over Delivery Himself, Motivational Speaker, Master of Persuasion, Kevin Hogan. 

Now for the real point of this blog.

Yup.  More MOVING.  It's Summer Time.  I am all about GETTING OUT, GETTING MOVING, Lookin Good!  and GETTING HEALTHY.

JOIN AN ACTIVITIES CLUB.

Around here we have Absolute Adventures.

Join a Hiking Club.Cycling.Scrabblers who Blog.  Kettlebelling.  Ju Jitsu.  Chi Gung.  Tae Kwan Do. Kirate.  TreadMillsRUs. Jogging.  Power Walkers.  Marathon Runners.  Triathlon Training.  Volley Ball.  Beach Volley Ball.  Volley Ball at the Park.  Tennis.  Baseball.  Softball.  Frisbee Golf.  Swimming.  Golf  (where's John?).  Basketball.  Street Hockey (cause it's gonna be a long long summer without the NHL!). 

See what I mean?

Even if you just try a day or two of each, that's enough for the next 6-9 months for your calendar.  Because of course, with ALL of these Easy Dating Tips, you are going to mix 'em up and do some different things at different times, right?

Enjoy and have fun.  Remember to bring your 35+ Sunscreen, Right?  We've learned that from Dr. Helton who sure know all about  Making Your Skin Beautiful without Surgery.

All the best,

April Braswell

Romance Coach, Online Dating Coach

To expand further on my idea and metaphor of TAKE A DETOUR:

TAKE A DETOUR AND FOLLOW THESE SIGNS:
Take a slightly different route to/from Church today.  (OK, so it's already afternoon where you are, so you can do this NEXT Sunday or even when you go to a mid-week evening service, or to drop your teens off at the Youth Fellowship)

Eat breakfast at a Denny's and sit at the counter.  Denny's is one of the few places I know that still has a COUNTER.  Around here in Silicon Valley we have this WONDERFUL breakfast place named Nini's.  Nini's still has counter service.  It is a secret I will tell you more about as another April Braswell Unique Easy Dating Tip.  In another post later.  Today at Denny's or whatever equivalent where you live, say "Hello" to the people to your left and to your right as you sip your coffee and half read the Sunday Paper.  You may need the social excuse to break the sound barrier of being able to say, "Would you please pass me the half-and-half?"  Or the Tabasco sauce bottle.  Or the salt and pepper.  They are your props.  Use whatever you can just to break that sound barrier.  You are practicing your social skills and positioning yourself for other singletons to see you.  You never know who you are going to meet or what new tidbit of information they will provide to you.  "Hey, you know, I'm single too.  Where do you like to go to meet single people your age?" Or "What do you do to meet other single people your age?"  "Really?  Wow, I'll have to remember that.  It sounds great.  Thank you.  I like to go to XYX"  or  "I like to do XYZ."  Again, thank them, and then turn back to your coffee or paper.  You are not trying to impose yourself too long beyond 3-5 sentences unless they are responsive in conversation with you.  If they utter 1 or 2 sentences, then they are just being polite.  If they utter 3-5 sentences, they might be interested in a conversation with you. 

John, you can even do this with your boys with you.  In a way, they are your props.  Trust me, they are so cute and handsome.  Every waitress will be delighted to chit chat with them.  Demonstrate and model your confident male conversation behavior with your waitress by simply engaging her in a little polite conversation.  Find SOMETHING to compliment her about.  That ALONE is already a great male dating behavior, a Dating Best Practice. 

Compliment the ladies.
The best compliments to women you are dating is on how they look, smell, sound, and are dressed.  When I say how they SMELL, I mean, compliment her perfume or in the absence of perfume her freshly showered smell.  "You sure look beautiful in that dress."  "You're so beautiful."  "You're so pretty."

Ok, but back to the waitress.  This is for small talk and you're maybe not trying to date her.  Just demonstrate and model SMALL TALK WITH WOMEN for your boys and get some practice in for yourself, too.

In which case, admire her waitressing.  Read her name tag is you can, and address her by her name.

"Jill, I was just telling my twin boys here how much I admired the great service you're giving us, filling our coffee and water all the time like you do.  How long have you been working here?  Have you been waitressing long?"

She will say something like, "Twins! Wow.  Oh, I'm a student at the local community college, and I've only just started working here." 

That was about 2-3 sentences.  She's got other tables to serve, just you're being gracious and convivial here.  They're well-practiced at this in The South (Yann and David, that's just another region within The States where they are very gracious, slower-paced and just about always have the time to connect with other people.  I know you both have crosssed The Pond a number of times.  Just to give you context.).  So, say maybe 1-2 more sentences to her, and let her get back to work.

"Wow, Jill, you've only just started.  That's very impressive.  Well, you're doing a great job.  Keep up the good work."

If she seems to have a minute or two more to talk, you could always add.

"You're studying at the community college?  That's great.  What are you studying?  My twin boys just back from serving our country in Iraq and are considering going back to college."

She might then tell you what she is studying.

Or if she is say, over 30 as a waitress, she might then turn to your boys, admire them, and ask THEM what they are considering studying.

This is all just to demonstrate to you some of the possible ways to practice your gracious communication skills and model it and your POISE WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX to your boys. Avoid putting them on the spot if you think they will socially panic like deer caught in the headlights, "Dad!  Don't make me talk to GIRLS.  I don't know HOW."  Well, they won't SAY that.  Their faces will. You know them best.

OK.  That's enough for today.  Congratulate yourself on the practice you got in.

Great job!

All the best,

April Braswell

Romance Coach, Online Dating Coach

Hi from the romantic heart of Silicon Valley, your Romance Coach and Online Dating Coach. 

Well, with all the street fairs and festivals that have started that I just blogged about and recommended that you check out, roadways are blocked off.  Our usual routes to

the shopping center
the shopping mall
our favorite bar
the social hall
the office
church

ARE BLOCKED!

I was driving up the San Francisco this morning to get my hair DONE at Joseph Cozza salon in The Gump's Building on Maiden Lane.  And, wouldn't you know it?  My usual route to 101 was BLOCKED to make room for Sunset Magazine's Street Festival.  Hmm, I'll have to WALK over there (save some gas!) tomorrow and make some new friends and maybe even some new dates.

I had to TAKE A DETOUR.

And that got me thinking.

I've said this before in some different ways, but in order to MEET MORE PEOPLE and ergo GET MORE DATES, we need to do SOMETHING DIFFERENT.

Awhile back when I was suggesting that we try some classes at the Community College, or the Learning Annex, or WHEREVER.  A coupla of the people responded saying grandma's favorite advise, "Oh, just do the activities you love, and you'll meet someone." 

Well.....

You might. 

And if you are 26 and not really serious about wanting to be in a great fulfilling and satisfying longterm romantic relationship that would lead to Marriage or your Life Partner (whether you covenant or not), sure, just keep doing what you doing and enjoying and maybe it will happen.

But if you are over 28 and you are starting to think about, "Heyyyyyy, you know, I really enjoy being Single.  Being Single is great.  I have a lot of fun with my friends.  But.... ah, I kinda want to be in a relationship.... How do I really DO that now?"  Then you actually need to....

DO NEW THINGS

Now as my buddy, Motivational Life Coach, Sue Crutcher recommends.  Baby Steps.  Baby Steps to change.

I am not suggesting that you move to France, New Orleans, or Phoenix, AZ. 

You do not need to move THOUSANDS of miles away.  Although you may have some reasons for doing so, and I cover that in my Romantic Love eBook (soon to be released, I'm reworking it).  But in general, what DOES help is to do some new things which are few degrees different than what you are doing now.

That way, you meet people who are more likely ALIGNED with you, but sufficiently DIFFERENT than you to create CHEMISTRY.  We NEED those differences for ROMANCE and SEXUAL ATTRACTION.  Vive la différence!  Thank God for them, or life would be too dull.

So, where I am, it is still early evening (my date is later tonight).  what about TONIGHT?  what are you doing?  Are you home alone?  Stop downloading the Porn as I tell my male clients, power down your computers.  (You're gasping to be taken away from that Life Line.....)  Ladies?  Put DOWN the Romance Novel and go Write One of YOUR OWN!

and GET OUT.

Go to a bar for 90 minutes.
Go to a country western bar at about 7/7:30 pm for their Dance Lessons.  you will meet 25 new people and a new skill.  Introduce yourself to each person you dance with.  Ask 7 of them to dance with you afterward.  I don't care if they are their with their GF or BF.  You just politely turn to the GF/BF and say,  "I'm a novice and could really use the practice.  Would you mind if I danced this dance with James?Abdul?  Jane?Sonia?"  Only a CLOD would say NO to that polite, respectful, couple honoring request.  It might be THEIR favorite song, but then they'll probably say, "How about the NEXT song?"  And if you are a man, you say to that lady who is already taken, "What you two have is really great."  And you just sort of plant the seeds to be fixed up with any of her single girlfriends.  You might even buy them a round of drinks and hang while drinking it, chit chatting.  Many ladies LOVE to play matchmaker, and you just might get a date from it.  You can always say,  "I'll be back here in 2 wks.  If you're GF would be more comfortable, she could just join the dance class then, and we'd meet then.  Thanks!"

If CW dance is REALLY not your thing.  There are Salsa classes.  VERY sexy.

I don't care WHAT you do.  You just CANNOT stay at HOME on Saturday night.  GET OUT.

Then report back to me what you did to be accountable.  (that includes that 28 yo man from The South here.....)

All the best,

April Braswell

Romance Coach, Online Dating Coach

I've been sharing a number of EASY DATING TIPS as a Romance Coach for you to meet more people which will lead to more dates.

So, tomorrow is Wednesday, that means I will be going DANCING at Upstairs at Beardsley's at the Italian American Social Club.

What about you?

Will you stay at home on the coach?

Or will you GET OUT?

I'd recommend, GET OUT.

So, check out Business and Technology networking events.
Chamber of Commerce.
Events cited at Facebook.
SDForum
SVASE
DealMaker Media

GO.

Have a glass of wine or a cup of coffee.  Make a point of chit chatting with people about whatever your work is.  Of course, I get to share the fun response to that question of, "and what do YOU do, April?"  I'm a Romance and Dating coach.  I help single people get more dates, a LOT more dates, to develop the romantic relationships we all want and crave.  What about you?"

And they are like, "No wait.  You're WHAT?  Oh cool.  Really?  Wow. I could sure use some help like that."  Or, "I'm married, but my cousin could really use your help."

It's FUN.

Now the point here is, you are MORE LIKELY to get more dates with people if you are out and about and interacting with people, NEW people, then you staying at home.

Have you tried a Salsa class yet?

Or did you venture out today at lunch?

Did you try a new coffee place for your morning cap fix?

Get out there and have some FUN!  And while you're doing that, you will RADIATE attractiveness and GET MORE DATES.  They will lead to... ROMANCE!

All the best!

April Braswell

This evening on a call I had one of those conversations where he was almost.... whining.  Not quite.  Just his attitude is very "it'll NEVER work.....  THAT will NEVER work... for me."

I don't care!

Suck it up!

Get out there!

Be a man!

Go meet more women!

Well, the thing is, I do care.  But I'll kick his butt a bit as well.  And he is going to go out and make an effort this week so he has some DATES this weekend and next.

Now, I get feedback, ok, overly analytical grilling really, about every Easy Dating Tips which I give him.  "Do you KNOW people who have met at a coffee shop?  at Starbucks?"  Like he wants a guarantee before he will even go to Starbucks?  Oye!  Give me a break, go!  Get coffee!  Say hello to people.  Ask if they prefer the Nonfat muffin to the full fat Bran muffin.

The point is, take something which you are already doing, and just shift it a few degrees so you are meeting people, conversing, and opening up your world, your heart, and your mind so that you are going on MORE DATES.

If you keep doing precisely what you are doing, you will continue to receive the same results.

Now the thing is, I am here venting and care so much I want to shake him, it's because he's wounded.  I get that.  Which is why I just listened and returned to the focus of,  "and what are you doing to do today to meet more people and interact with women you haven't met before."  Some might think he is jaded.  I feel he is forlorn in a masculine way.  I also spent a moment or two building him up.  Because he is not YET believing in himself.  He will.  Because I won't give up on him.

So, what are YOU doing today to meet more people and ensure you have DATES this weekend?

Let's consider another whole area for FUN FUN FUN:  DANCING!

Take dance lessons.

Salsa
West Coast Swing (WCS)
Argentine Tango
Ballroom
Cha Cha
Viennese Waltz
American Tango
Country Western
Two Step
Line Dancing

Now the thing about taking Dance Lessons is this really IS about sowing seed.  You WILL meet more people and IMMEDIATELY, and you will even be in each others arms... Nice feeling isn't it? However, it takes about 6 wks minimum of attending classes regularly to get initially proficient in any dance. Keep showing up at the classes.  Stay for the social dance time afterwards.  Practice with the OTHER beginners - this is a team thing, we all get to practice being GRACIOUS and FORBEARING as toes are stepped on and leads are misunderstood.

After about 6-8 weeks, you will find... you can dance!  And then you can dance with more people.  Go to clubs.  Hang.  I know couples who forged their relationship over dancing.  And I get asked out on dates regularly where I go dancing now that I have been there and dancing for awhile.  But you must FIRST sow the seed of getting proficient for basic dancing. Then have fun and move to the music!

Mazel tov!

April Braswell