8 posts tagged “relationships”

WOW!

Can you BELIEVE it is almost JUNE 2008!

Yup, May 2008 is wrapping up and coming to an end.

If you are playing over at Google Zeitgest, you will see what is one people's minds...

Britney Spears, a perennial favorite.

And some TRAVEL sites.

What are we all starting to think about?

SUMMER VACATION!

Well, in my work as a Romance Coach and Online Dating Coach, where my goal with you is to create a Life Partner/Marriage Relationship, not just get more dates (but it STARTS there!) one of my suggestions (I have ENDLESS Easy Dating Tips, you will NEVER remain in a rut with me, just ask Baby Steps Lifestyle Coach,
Sue Crutcher!) is to GO TO SUMMER SCHOOL!

There are SO many things you could learn this summer!

Just THINK about it!

You could work on your French at the Alliance Francaise!  Or How to Negotiate ANYTHING Better! in either English OR Finnish!

You could get Sabrina Peterson to work on your GUT and your overall fitness.  When she says,  "I fix people." Don't worry!  It's not what you think!

And while you are trying to improve your middle, you'll want to check out Chiropractic Miracles
with Dr. Michael Roth of SoCal who can also help you leverage all that weight loss and fitness work you are doing with Miss Sabrina by Knowing Your Body Type!

Frankly, after you've lost your first 20 lbs, your clothes will start to HANG too loose on you and you will start to feel the lure and the pull to the Mall to do some Clothes Shopping, BUT WAIT!  Don't venture over there without first having a wardrobe consultation with Image Consulting Expert Jennifer Skinner first!  Then it is SAFE to pull out your plastic!

Well, if you've been pulling out your plastic a bit tooooo much recently and you are worrying about Your Credit and Mortgage Woes you'll want to arrange a Credit and Mortgage seminar session with John Wadsworth.  After you've gotten that squared away, you'll be delighted to learn more about Golf from him.  Not that I'm saying he swings, mind you... But I'll bet his TWIN boys (he SURELY could have used some EXPERT Baby Sitting Advise from Boston HOTTEST mom, Lisa McLellan!  If you ask NICELY and say PRETTY PLEASE, I'll bet she'll give you an autograph!  When she's through blushing and then happily gushing over her children, and YOURS!) are DARLING, sweethearts, and heart breakers  (sweet, tall, handsome and oblivous!).  If ever they had gotten to be TOO much of a handful, he could have listened to the wise advise and learned a few things from the trenches from Teen Advice expert on the need to give Tougher Love so they know you really DO love them.

After you've had your middle work and your back adjusted, you might feel a yen to head on over to the beach at some point this summer and follow the sage Sales Training, Leadership Training of the founder of  The Sales and Leadership Institute and want to BEACH it with your laptop while building your business AND your tan.

BUT WAIT!

Don't forget the SPF! as Dr. Peter Helton would advise for Making Your Skin Look Beautiful without Surgery.  Of course he'd like you to lay off the coffee, too, but that's a harder pitch than the 35SPF sunscreen. A Corporate Veil without TRUE protection won't be enough as Rob Northup will tell you for your business as SPF is for your skin.  And SPEAKING of PROTECTION  (yes, USE a condom!)  Making Business and Construction Insurance EASY to understand expert, Sonya Lenzo, can help teach you about how to protect yourself with insurance in addition to incorporating.

Frankly after a day of shopping at the mall for your new wardrobe, you are probably feeling VERY stressed.  I'd recommend you take a course in Self-Hypnosis then from the UK's leading hypnotist, David Power.

If that's not enough, you could learn a few things about TRAVEL and may need to book your holiday as the UK's leading personal life coach, Yann Vernier,calls what we call a VACATION.  WHO else but The Road Warrior could help you plan your IDEA Summer Vacation?  His?  HOME! 

With the economy in the state of Stagflation that we are in, before you book your travel through Scott, you'll want to check the economic forecast of your destination with Aaron Agostini.  And just because he is a besotted newlywed does NOT mean he sees it all through Rose Tinted glasses.

While you are looking for TO WHERE TO TRAVEL you might want to consider HOW you will get there and consider leveraging some Alternative Energy sources with Matt Shields.  Of course, since he is young, single, and HOT, one might argue that HE is an alternative energy source....

Perhaps you have QUESTIONS?  Well, Tim Birch, aka, The Answer Man, has answers to EVERYTHING about making YOU better!  And if you need help with COOL STUFF on the web, well, naturalmente, you'll be reaching out to Andrew Records (not a recording label) to help e-teach you.

When you want to learn more about How to STOP SMOKING NOW! you'll want to check in with Michelle Matteson to learn a thing or two!  Plus she is as CUTE as a BUTTON!  (oh and SINGLE!  waving of red flag!  email me, I'll arrange an Encounter..... aka A Date!  She is TOO CUTE to remain on the market for long.  You've been forewarned.  You snooze, you lose, fellas.....).

If you or a loved one is approaching 50 you might want to learn more about Crohns Disease And Colitis - Turning Down the Pain.

Now that you have conquered pain, disease, your gut, your finances, and your smoking, you are LOOKING MAHVELOUS!

Frankly, it is SO time to POST YOUR ONLINE DATING PROFILE!

And that's where I come in.  BTW, you will need some HELP (trust me, we ALL need some help in this) with really CRAFTING a great online profile.  Frankly, your profile is your Sales Letter to the Romance World.  Yes, that means, Copywriting Made Simple will be necessary.

Then once you've done that, well, you'll be Irresistibly Attractive.

Enjoy!

God bless and God Speed!

April Braswell
Romance Coach, Online Dating Coach, Dating Advice and Tips, Internet Dating Tips

One of the things to do periodically is to STOP all of your activity and take time to ASSESS.

How has all of your application of ALL of my Easy Dating Tips been?

Have you tried some of them?

Are indeed at least finding that you are MEETING MORE PEOPLE?

Asking them out on dates is another whole things, but is the first thing happening?

Take this evening off and relax.  Take an assessment of where you are.  Are you meeting more people whom you'd want to date?

If not, you might want to talk with me about coaching to apply these in conjunction with the guidance of a successful coach.

Tomorrow we start a new week of Easy Dating Tips!

Enjoy!

All the best,

Oh MY!

It is a simply GORGEOUS day here in the San Francisco Bay Area.  I know, my turn to gloat about gorgeous weather.

It has been unbelievably hot for the past few days, close to around 100 degrees when most of our houses do NOT have AC.

Today it is back to being beautifully temperate weather.

What did I do today?

Gotteth myself to THE PARK!

Yes, it's Sunday. 

Glorious weather.

Go to the park.

You can always go with a few friends who are your props to help you initiate contact and conversations.

Bring a baseball glove and ball, bring a frisbee.  SOMETHING.

Take over a picnic table.  They are usually close together.  You will just HAVE to say something to folks at the tables next to you.  You're just being friendly and polite.

Be sure to toss the frisbee around.  And don't be too good at.  Inadvertently have it land on someone blanket, or right near them.  "oh, sooooo sorry.  here let me get that for you."  Just DO refrain from actually boinking them on the head with your frisbee.

"Oh, let me make it up to you.  Would you like a cold beer?"  Cold beer or a soda - no worries about strange food from strangers.  Open it for them if you are a man for the lady.  Hand it to him and then hand him the bottle open if you are lady with a gentleman. 

Ladies, let HIM be THE MAN.  He will unconsciously filter you as "heeeey, this one is FEMININE" when you let him do it himself instead of mothering him with doing it for him.

Gentlemen, when you open it for her and hand it to her, her unconscious filter will say, "heeeeey, he's a gentleman....."  because you just in a little gesture (that's what we are reading a LOT in early dates and why the importance of Open Cars Doors and Building Doors for us......) communicated to her your ability to provide for her (provide, protect) and cherish her.  She'll flutter and this will illicit a feminine response.

Ok, you're started.  Now SAY something,  "How about that heat wave!  It sure was a scorcher, wasn't it?"  or your own region's small talk. 

Go!

OK, side note.  Some people have emailed me offline about, "Oh April, I can't just then ask a stranger for a date after 3 sentences." 

That is really perfectly ok.  Cause you might actually get rejected.  If you're the man and ergo doing the asking (as the ladies, our job it to FLIRT to demonstrate receptive interest), you just might get rejected.

That is OK.  If you want to hire me to coach you to bolster you in the midst of that journey, that's what I'm hear for.

In the meantime, some rejection CAN happen.  But what we all are doing here is PRACTICING BEHAVIOR.

Think of yourself as an athlete.

You are practicing your fundamentals, your fundamental dating and relationship skills. 

Each conversation attempt helps you to BUILD your superb poise and comfort and practice exuding your style and brand.  Fine tune over time to see what is most effective for YOU with the opposite sex (or same if that is the case). 

Going on Dates - or Dating Just to Date - is PRACTICE.

Can you imagine being the star player on a sports team and just showing up for The Big Game thinking (as if your coach would even LET you play!) without having been to practice all season long?

I mean, your throw would suck.  (Yes, that was the technical term.)

You'd have no nuanced rapport with your team mates with who you need to throw and catch (or kick and pass, or shoot and pass, depending on your sport preference, just trying to help you out here.).

And you would have no practiced moves in your play book.

As Sonya Lenzo would say, When Experience Counts.  And trust me, with relationships and aiming to build one, experience and PRACTICE does count.

So, yes, GO ON MORE DATES and go out and get some experience.

Enjoy!

All the best,

April Braswell
Romance Coach, Online Dating Coach

Yup. 

Set the alarm for a DIFFERENT TIME.

I can hear you now,  Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!

Ok. so for dating.  for romance.  we need, what?  yes, CHEMISTRY!

In my work as a Romance Coach and Online Dating Coach, as part of the whole strategy I work out with my clients, I do recommend they try some different things to shake things up a bit BECAUSE  our DIFFERENCES foster chemistry.

Soooo, are you an early morning person?

Get up 1 hr later and go for a walk around your hood NOW.  You will run into and be seeing people who get up a bit later than you.

If you are NOT an early morning person (me, me, me!  although, really I can get up at 6 am, but with discipline, then the HABIT resets my internal alarm clock.), set you alarm for 1 hour earlier and get up and go take that same walk.

No do NOT set your alarm clock for 1 hr earlier and then hit the snooze button until it's the same our you normally get up!  (you are wondering, "April, how could think I could do that - [merde, she understands me TOO entirely well!]?" ahhh, cause I've DONE that?  Not the habits I want to establish or model, but I'll just be truthful that I HAVE done this...... )

After your walkies, go to Starbucks or Peets.  You will SEE different people there now than you usually do, don't you?

That is just ONE simple idea.  Do it for 1 week.  Do it for both days on the weekend.  Whatever works.  You WILL see and meet DIFFERENT people than you normally do.

Have fun!

All the best,

April Braswell
Romance Coach, Online Dating Coach

Judy Munroe, Jennifer Skinner, April Braswell

So, yesterday I posted some simple Baby Steps to Change which if you follow them will increase your ability to Create the Romantic Relationship You Want...

Today, I want to give you some MORE Easy Dating Tips to shake up your dating life and help your to Get More Dates with Men as well as to Keep Your Dating Pipeline Full!

Today is Sunday.

Are you remotely Christian?

When was the last time you went to church?

Are you a member of a certain church?

A certain denomination?

Well, I challenge you to...

go somewhere else today!

If you are Baptist, go to a DIFFERENT Baptist church in town.

If you are Baptist, go to a DIFFERENT Baptist church 1 town over....  or 2 or 3 towns over.

If you are Baptist, go to an ENTIRELY DIFFERENT denomination's church.

Episcopalian
Methodist
United Methodist
Fundamentalist Baptist
Unity Church
Unitarian
Lutheran
Roman Catholic
Orthodox
Presbyterian
Non-denominational
Pentacostal
Charismatics

And while you are there, check out the church bulletin.

Do they cite a Singles fellowship?

Do they have a Singles Bible Study?

If you see these things cited, after the service, as the pastor, preacher, Reverend, or Priest about these groups.

If you DON'T see these things cited, after the service, as the pastor, preacher, Reverend, or Priest about these groups.

Get on the church's mailing list and email newsletter list.

This way you will hear about their regular meetings as well as any special activities they have.

Concerts

Lectures

The IDEA is to shift a few degrees outside of your current little world and perspective.

I didn't suggest if you are Christian on Sunday to go to a Jewish Temple or Seventh Day Adventist church.  Of course not.  I would NEVER do that. 

They don't MEET on Sunday!

Maybe try those NEXT month after you have exhausted the list of churches in town and 1-2 towns over!

Keep rotating churches, attending, meeting new people and investigating their singles activities.

Some go on a monthly Saturday morning hike.  That would mean you'll meet new people AND improve your physical fitness at the same time!  Talk about Excellent Time Management!

God bless,

April Braswell
Expert Online Dating Coach, Romantic Relationship Coach

I can see my friend Sue Crutcher and I are very aligned.  Indeed, her post about Baby Steps for your health relates very well with the advise I give to my Romantic Relationship clients - do some NEW THINGS - little ones - each week.  Shake up your calendar.  GET OUT OF YOUR RUT!

If all that you are doing RIGHT NOW would have connected you with your LOVE PARTNER, you'd already be in that relationship.

But you're not.....

So, you need to do something different!

Now, a few Guerilla Love Tactics are always fun to really shake things up, but even something as simple as buy your morning coffee from a DIFFERENT location. 

Go to the coffee place en route home in the evening to restock your beans.

Gasp, go to a different dry cleaners.

In general, I recommend to take out your weekly calendar.  Over the course of 7 days, insert at least 2 NEW/Different things.

They are incremental changes, but when done in concert with other parts of a Total Vision, they can make a difference.

Certainly one  of which is they shake up our mental filters and make us more CONSCIOUS of where we are and SEE the people there now.  And just maybe you'll meet someone, don't you think?

God bless,

April Braswell
www.AprilBraswell.com

Which we have in Christ Jesus.

Those famous words which close out Romans 8 were some of my late father's favorites for summarizing God's love for us.  One of my favorites is "God demonstrated His love for us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."  (He took pity on us, reached out to us in our sinner to reconcile us to Him.)

Whether you are Christian or not, that concept of not being separated from love can move and motivate life.

So often when we are deep in our pain, stuck in our mental filter and limited perspective on our lives (this IS how this is happening, all men are jerks, all women are bitches, out to get you, all men want it sex, etc.), on our own we absolutely cannot move beyond that perspective.  And while there, indeed, we are SEPARATED from Love (and I would add, God's love).

When I work with my dating, human sexuality and romantic relationships clients, I have to start with where are you now?  What is your current perspective about dating, relationships, and the opposite sex? 

And what do you WANT?  Are you looking to marry?  remarry?  just to be in a relationship?

Indeed, as my friend Aaron Agostini (newlywed!) puts it, communication is everything, and indeed that IS the foundation for all love.

Without communication, there IS no relationship.
Without communication, there is no sexual dialog.  Indeed, because sex, human sexuality is a subset of communication.  It is is sensual communication.

without communication, reaching out from ourselves to connect with another person, there is no relationship, no communion.

And there is no relationship with God, either.

Indeed, as Christians, we believe that God first reaches out to us.

In romantic relationships, we MUST reach out to each other.

Today was my father, John Young Barry, PhD's memorial service.

I met a number of people who were his friends throughout his life.

One was a couple whom I had only heard about for 35 years who knew my mother and father when my father was in grad school (mathematics) at Yale.

Some were church members.

Some were from various community groups to which he belonged, and yes, I'm being purposefully vague because of his privacy, not mine.

As I met many people today and thanked them for coming out to his memorial service to honor his memory, invariably I was asked what I do.  And when I told some of them that I do Dating and Relationship coaching, and started to talk with them about genuine communication, healthy communication, they were very interested.

Because THAT is the foundation for ALL relationships we have in life, and we can ALL continue to learn to do better in that area.

And by so doing, we create greater intimacy in our lives.

One man I spoke with who is somewhat disabled, and he thinks more so than what I perceived, was thinking no woman would want him.  And I told him, his strength, his leadership, his authority and standing for SOMETHING in his life would display his masculinity and THAT would attract women to him.  Plus, his limitation actually helps him.  We will ALL become frail at some point in our lives.  He just KNOWS it.  He can better focus on women who will mesh well with him AS HE IS, his best self, of course, than to think, I have the WHOLE friggin WORLD to choose from.

His "infirmity" helps him to FOCUS his search for love.  And I told him, go to my website, www.AprilBraswell.com, read some of my articles, especially my articles on actually getting more dates, and to email me from my email address there.  Either way, we reached outside of ourselves and actually created a connection from genuine communication, and he now sees himself differently.  In 7 mins of talking with me, this quite lovely man (ah, NICE shoulders, btw!) is starting to perceive himself DIFFERENTLY, that he has something TO OFFER women rather than seeing himself as an invalid. 

The other wonderful example of REACHING OUT is I now have a relationship with my cousins.  You see, the mess of divorce had left us not connected, knowing of each other but with no way to find each other for years.  (yes, the dark ages, life before the internet).  The death of our grandmother was the catalyst.  Now we know each other, indeed, are connected, and love each other. 

Today was the first day that all 6 of us were altogether.  It was wonderful.  Both branches of our family had great difficulties in our childhoods.  If we had stayed in those DON'T TRUST, BE AFRAID filters, we would not all know and love each other now.

But we took the risk to reach out, to connect, and to brave that the other side might not really WANT to know us.  But indeed, we all DID want to know each other.  And with 40+ yrs of estrangement, all of that was immediately brushed aside and we embraced as cousins when we first started out emails and phone calls to know each other.

Today was a great, great blessing for us.  The memorial service was very cathartic.  And the luncheon served to knit this generation more closely together. 

I may have 4 more people soon whom I will be helping to forge the loving relationships they so desire in their lives, and at least presently are ever so slightly thinking, I don't think I CAN have this....  but.... I want it  Could I?

Yes, indeed, you can.

And so indeed, nothing can separate us from LOVE when we have the courage to take chances, to risk rejection, in our quest for true connection.

What will YOU do today to foster genuine communication in your relationships?
Or to venture out and create new ones?

April Braswell
www.AprilBraswell.com

All of us for the very first time at Dad's Memorial Svc Lunch

Well, insert cuss word of choice, today I'm actually pulling together the memorial service for my father which will be Thursday at the First Presby Church of Santa Monica. 

It's a good thing I'm finally getting a little unblocked which means, yes, thank you, TEARS!

SUCH a good thing that I didn't bother with mascara today because even waterproof mascara is only SO waterproof before it's flaking off into and under my eyes.  And I turn such a lovely Irish reddish blotchy color when I cry.  It's part of my being so dmnd genuine.  I'm so transparent, why bother to TRY to cover it up?

Will be on the road tomorrow with a nice leisurely drive to LA.  Felt that if I was not too disoriented (all 4 of us are disoriented right now - huh?) that the drive would be therapeutic.

This is part of what drives me to help people to develop both their primary love (marriage, sig other) relationships as well as to work on their communications skills to foster intimacy in their lives.  I've been thru so many deaths recently that I KNOW the brevity of life and what matters and what we are left with.  yes, we need to make money - and it's part of how we prioritize our time - but $ comes and goes.  I can always make more.  Time is the limited commodity and in the end it's our loving relationships which serve as our legacy.

God bless,

April Braswell

April Braswell - Online Personals Expert, Online Dating Coach, Sexual and Romantic Relationship Coach, Social Networking Maven