8 posts tagged “online dating sites”
As a Dating Expert who has both lived in a few different metro regions (New York, San Francisco, Los Angeles/The OC and Las Vegas) as well as worked with singles in a number of different cities both within the United States as well as around the world, one of the considerations a number of singles have is they want to meet, date, and mate with another single in their local area.
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Yes, you will see on some of the online dating niche sites, like those which are faith based for Muslims, Christian or Jewish Singles, is that the single will often make some statement like, “Distance is no object.” They think the are open to loving and partnering up with another single from any where in the country.
And in a manner, they are open like that. They are open to love coming to them from just about anywhere.
And then reality kicks in.
In order to really fall in love, to attract your Soul Mate and build a relationship, you actually need to open up and share each others lives together. Courtship which leads to marriage requires that you share your lives and actually BE with each other. So much of the dating style of the “Single – Never Married” folks is to either “hang” on the sofa and watch movies, while fun, eventually becomes boring, or to go do the consumer single dating style of going “out” all the time. Neither of these models is actually what we DO in the normal LIFE of a married couple/life partner relationship. When I coach singles who are divorced or widowed and we get to that part of my coaching system, they say, “OMG, April, you are brilliant! This is so true!” (I heard this today from one widowed lady.) And they can see how I approach relationship attraction and building form reality and not from some pipe dream which will never happen.
Real relationships are between human beings. There are some crass metaphors for describing this which I will refrain from using to illustrate my point.
When you are looking to attract love and build a life partner relationship, generally speaking, to do so you need to be in person. In order to experience that, this means you want to date another single who is local to you or at least in your metro area region. That can still mean that they live a few hours away from you. However, unless you travel to certain metro areas repeatedly for business, you want to keep your targets on another single who lives within a few hours of you, and not thousands miles away, which would be just fooling yourself.
Then you actually have a chance of attracting, meeting, and mating with your Soul Mate and developing the kind of lifelong love relationship which you are craving.
Happy Dating and Relationships,
Las Vegas Baby Boomer Dating Expert
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Well, as an online dating coach, relationship coach, I feel like this is a case of online matchmaking to help out someone who was a bit of a later comer with being... up.
Now just let me say, it is ALWAYS good to have a few good attorneys in your corner! If you're single and looking for a great romantic relationship, when you are engaged and getting married... you might want a pre-nuptial agreement.... or perhaps you need a referral for a divorce attorney so you can become single again and join the ranks of the divorced. Either way, good to have a good attorney, n'est pas?
All the best,
April Braswell
Here it is....
MONDAY.
You're not inside, are you?
If you're single, it's time to get OUT. If you want a romantic relationship, the best way to attract and create one? is, yes, to MEET PEOPLE. So, get out.
Now, I am hearing from a lot of folks who have lost their jobs, etc. I'm serious. I know a lot of unemployed singles. And I think the men in particular then are having a hard time GETTING dates because just like 80% of men are first looking at a woman's beauty so 80% of women are looking for men to be good providers/protectors.
So, if you're unemployed, merde (that was for my buddy, Yann). HOW do you display your "good provider" status when you are... unemployed? A lot of it is to switch around your thinking. Now really, you're being "unemployed," it's a temporary status, right? You will be earning money again, right? So talk about the ROLE you typically perform rather than being unemployed. You might also go over to CraigsList and look for some part-time or contract work to have funds coming IN while you are looking for The Right Fit.
Additionally, you might look at landing a sales job where you will be working almost more like a business OWNER rather than an employee.
One of the important and effective techniques and mode of behavior that works REALLY well both in Dating and in JOB HUNTING is to GET OUT. Network. Go grab a coffee. And when you GO grab that coffee, be sure to set appointments with other people in your network. "Hey Bob, let's grab a coffee together Monday afternoon? Or how about right after work?" Connect with your network.
WHen we are in the habit of regularly getting together in public with our buddies, we naturally then meet other people around us - talk casually to the person in front and behind you inline at the coffee shop. Go to a DIFFERENT coffee shop - location or store itself - tomorrow and the next time.
Even if you are not a bar rat exactly, strive to sit at the tables in the bar area of a restaurant. THey are smaller and closer together and natually set up for you to bump into - literally - the people at the table next to you. Buy the lady a drink, a glass of wine, and your bill will still be reasonable. The Goal is to MEET MORE PEOPLE.
You can do that, right?
Be sure to check out my recent addition of an Online Dating Site Review, Internet Dating Site Guide
for more ideas about WHERE to meet folks!
All the best,
April Braswell
It's election time here in The States, and whatever your voting preferences, getting out (wait! you recognize that theme again from me, don't you?) and assisting with the campaign for
- national
- state
- local
politics means you will meet others!
Now my one really huge and careful caveat is, AVOID going to the opposing camp campaign headquarters. It will just drive both you and them crazy.
Well, even anger is arousal in the brain... so yah never know.
However, I really do suggest you go to the campaign headquarters of candidates you LIKE...
- John McCain and Sarah Palin
- Bacak Obama and Joe Biden
Or, perhaps in the case of the really local politicians, where you probably don't KNOW them all that well, go visit their HQs and meet NEW people.
- Ask the people there all about this politician.
- Consider volunteering....
While you are doing this, you will meet new LOCAL people. Grab a coffee with them. Those you meet at campaign headquarters might become your Autumn romance.... or something more. Who knows, n'est pas?
Be sure to check out my recent addition of an Online Dating Site Review, Internet Dating Site Guide for more ideas about WHERE to meet folks!
All the best,
April Braswell
Online Dating Coach, Dating and Relationship Coach
Who hasn't heard that Lehman Brothers, the Wall Street Stalwart, is filing bankruptcy? It reminds me of the markets right after 911, and we just commemorated the 7th year anniversary of that international tragedy last week.
In the aftermath of 911 and financial disasters, people have a tendancy to MARRY.
There is also the double challenge occuring of quite a lot of people losing their jobs.
So, like, ah, how do we pay for dates?
And if you are a man, where something like 80% of women are looking for men to be "a good provider" and "protective", how are you to demonstrate that when you are - for the time being - unemployed?
This is actually a great time to do COURTING dating rather than just CASUAL dating. COURTING dating is when we are dating with the intent and purpose of looking for a spouse, a romantic sex life partner, not just, dating for fun and casual encounters.
So, be encouraged, this is actually a great time to date.
When you go on dates right now, take your dates on less "entertaining" dates, which would be innately expensive, and instead focus more on dates where you comfortably get acquainted. I still recommend that you do your Date0 dates at a classy bar with apps (appetizers), and yes, gentlemen, you're paying 100% for about the first 7 dates. Just know the ladies, OUR expense is in all that it costs to look THAT GOOD. Hair, nails, skincare, it doesn't come cheap, but many of us have learned how to be FRUGAL about it. Like I LOVE certain skincare prods that run about $100 a piece, AND I also know how to use drug store alternatives. When my late husband was alive and we were supporting 2 residences in THE two most expense metro areas of the USA, well, the mani/pedis WENT out the door. I CAN just use good clear nail polish have them look polished.
So, DO still go out on dates, and keep asking those qualifying questions.
Additionally the ACTION of GETTING OUT and interacting with others as we do on dates is also according to the Law of Physics and Motion, advantageous for your JOB SEARCH. When you are OUT AND ABOUT for one purpose, you are already IN MOTION and more likely to FIND and BE DISCOVERED for other purposes like WORK!
Be sure to check out my recent addition of an Online Dating Site Review, Internet Dating Site Guide for more ideas about WHERE to meet folks!
All the best,
April Braswell
Online Dating Coach, Dating and Relationship Coach
Hey, just a quick note as YES it IS late at night here in CA.
I will DEFINITELY be participating in Body Language Expert, Kevin Hogan's Amazon Promo for his new book. I'm putting together and Ebook that will likely be about 100 pages. So for folks who want some MORE free advise from me, I'll be posting the details here shortly about WHAT TO DO to participate in the promo and get my Dating and Relationship coach ebook for free.
This is just your heads up.
I'll provide more details within the next few days.
Mazel tov!
All the best,
April Braswell
Happy Sunday!
As a further amplification of my Romance Coach and Online Dating Coach post from yesterday about DO Social Networking for enhancing Your Dating Life, tee hee. You DO still need actually to MEET F2F.
So, just like with the Online Dating Sites (either the Free Online Dating sites or the ones where you pay for your membership), the idea is to exchange a few emails and actually...
ARRANGE TO MEET F2F.
Otherwise it is a fantasy and you are wasting your time. I generally recommend about 3-5 emails to connect and segue to Let's Meet. When you live more than 35-50 miles apart, you might email for a bit longer. I'll address that in a forthcoming article at my website. More than about 5 emails and there's something wrong. Sometimes the other party is recently divorcing or divorced and may just be rusty in this area of dating and not know Online Dating Protocol and Online Dating Etiquette (like don't swear in an email to a lady before you meet or I would advise her NOT to meet you! Initially display your gentlemanly behavior. We all burp and expel gas, but let's be gracious and well-mannered, OK? And some of the blue collar men I know who you might THINK this would be more of an issue with are the ones who are MOST gentlemanly with Da Ladies. So, I'm conferring respect to all of you men, here.).
So, be a little forbearing. You may have a diamond in the rough. Remember, dating is to practice your communication skills of what you want and don't want and to practice your skills on How To Flirt? (you ARE flirting, right? OK. Good. phew!).
When my sweet friend Lisa from BabySitting World, Boston's HOTTEST Mom, and yup, sorry guys, MARRIED, doesn't understand how Social Networking would benefit her, well, it may NOT cause she is MARRIED. Of course, if you are PLANNING to go on a date, you might need her free Ebook on what to look for in a Baby Sitter. Do check out her website. This lady is truly an expert and amazing.
But for those of us who are SINGLE, it is a great additional component in your Dating Strategy.
Hope that helps in clarifying things.
For those of us in sales, my guideline about arrange to meet within a few emails, you may notice the Law of Sales Speed being applied here. There is MOMENTUM in Sales. Once there is an INTEREST EXPRESSED, we need to arrange for ACTION NEXT STEPS, not just general phone calls to keep things warm UNTIL there is a project ready. Same thing with Dating. Can you imagine if we said, "well, when you're READY to get married, call me, and we'll go on a few dates THEN!"
Dating is about BEING SEEN and KNOWN and about GETTING READY for a Romantic Relationship.
Enjoy!
All the best,
April Braswell
Romance Coach, Online Dating Coach
Just a super quick note.
Stanley Cup Game 4 has started!
Assume Game Face.
Go Guins!
All the best,
April Braswell
Romance Coach, Online Dating Coach
