24 posts tagged “marriage”

Happy Sunday!

As a further amplification of my Romance Coach and Online Dating Coach post from yesterday about DO Social Networking for enhancing Your Dating Life, tee hee.  You DO still need actually to MEET F2F.

So, just like with the Online Dating Sites (either the Free Online Dating sites or the ones where you pay for your membership), the idea is to exchange a few emails and actually...

ARRANGE TO MEET F2F.

Otherwise it is a fantasy and you are wasting your time.  I generally recommend about 3-5 emails to connect and segue to Let's Meet.  When you live more than 35-50 miles apart, you might email for a bit longer.  I'll address that in a forthcoming article at my website.  More than about 5 emails and there's something wrong.  Sometimes the other party is recently divorcing or divorced and may just be rusty in this area of dating and not know Online Dating Protocol and Online Dating Etiquette (like don't swear in an email to a lady before you meet or I would advise her NOT to meet you!  Initially display your gentlemanly behavior.  We all burp and expel gas, but let's be gracious and well-mannered, OK?  And some of the blue collar men I know who you might THINK this would be more of an issue with are the ones who are MOST gentlemanly with Da Ladies.  So, I'm conferring respect to all of you men, here.).

So, be a little forbearing.  You may have a diamond in the rough.  Remember, dating is to practice your communication skills of what you want and don't want and to practice your skills on How To Flirt? (you ARE flirting, right?  OK.  Good. phew!).

When my sweet friend Lisa from BabySitting World, Boston's HOTTEST Mom, and yup, sorry guys, MARRIED, doesn't understand how Social Networking would benefit her, well, it may NOT cause she is MARRIED.  Of course, if you are PLANNING to go on a date, you might need her free Ebook on what to look for in a Baby Sitter.  Do check out her website.  This lady is truly an expert and amazing. 

But for those of us who are SINGLE, it is a great additional component in your Dating Strategy.

Hope that helps in clarifying things.

For those of us in sales, my guideline about arrange to meet within a few emails, you may notice the Law of Sales Speed being applied here.  There is MOMENTUM in Sales.  Once there is an INTEREST EXPRESSED, we need to arrange for ACTION NEXT STEPS, not just general phone calls to keep things warm UNTIL there is a project ready.  Same thing with Dating.  Can you imagine if we said, "well, when you're READY to get married, call me, and we'll go on a few dates THEN!"

Dating is about BEING SEEN and KNOWN and about GETTING READY for a Romantic Relationship.

Enjoy!

All the best,

April Braswell
Romance Coach, Online Dating Coach

OK, in case you don't know it or havent' thought of this way, but Online Dating Sites are a subniche of the Social Networking sites.

Soooooo.

Are you single?

Are you up at least the basics of...

Facebook
MySpace
LinkedIn
HotOrNot

Now you do not have to do a TON there, just Have a Presence.  I find I get a regular flow of interested parties from the Social Networking sites.

I also get business from there.... 

All the best,

April Braswell
Romance Coach, Online Dating Coach

Just a quick hello.

I'll post here later tonight.

Of course, it IS Thursday night.

gentlemen, go to a bar.  you WILL find more women out there tonight with their GFs than on other nights.

ladies!  Go to a business networking function.  I have 3 of them to go to next week.  I can just about guarantee to you now that they will be upwards 97% MALE attended.

All the best,

April Braswell

Romance Coach, Online Dating Coach

Yup.  Another Easy Dating Tip from your Romance Coach and Online Dating Coach.  Perhaps you were worried that  I had, eek, RUN OUT OF IDEAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ooooo noooooo, say it ain't so!!!

No worries.  I got a million of 'em.  With me, my clients are NEVER in a dating rut with NOTHING they can do on a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday to GO MEET MORE PEOPLE and GET DATES or GET MORE DATES. 

Yesterday I encouraged you to go try a YOGA class to get a romantic date. 

Now, I mainly talked to MEN about doing this for meeting Da Ladies.

However, and here's your bonus freebie (free on top of free, is what?  Uber Free?) because this blog is going to be an other Easy Dating Tip, other than about Yoga.

So, as a bonus, the thing is, ladies, YOU can take Yoga Classes to meet MEN, too.  It's not just The Reverse of yesterday. 

Part of the point of TRY SOMETHING new and stretching yourself (HAD to say it, we're talking about Yoga, right?) is to do something a bit different than what is 100% you you you SO you can meet someone WITH WHOM YOU HAVE CHEMISTRY.

If they are IDENTICAL to you, no chemistry, no fun, no surging passion.  And I don't know about you, but I have GOT to have some surging PASSION in MY romantic relationships.

So ladies, if Yoga is not quite YOUR THING what you NORMALLY DO, then for YOU to take a Yoga class IS a stretch.  And you might meet some nice man who is working on loosening up his hockey thighs. 

That was my OVER DELIVERY part since this is a FREE Easy Dating Tips Advise Blog, where other Romance Coaches will actually CHARGE you for the pleasure of reading their articles so you could actually get a sense of would I want to work with YOU in particular.  I've learned all about Over Delivery from MR. Over Delivery Himself, Motivational Speaker, Master of Persuasion, Kevin Hogan. 

Now for the real point of this blog.

Yup.  More MOVING.  It's Summer Time.  I am all about GETTING OUT, GETTING MOVING, Lookin Good!  and GETTING HEALTHY.

JOIN AN ACTIVITIES CLUB.

Around here we have Absolute Adventures.

Join a Hiking Club.Cycling.Scrabblers who Blog.  Kettlebelling.  Ju Jitsu.  Chi Gung.  Tae Kwan Do. Kirate.  TreadMillsRUs. Jogging.  Power Walkers.  Marathon Runners.  Triathlon Training.  Volley Ball.  Beach Volley Ball.  Volley Ball at the Park.  Tennis.  Baseball.  Softball.  Frisbee Golf.  Swimming.  Golf  (where's John?).  Basketball.  Street Hockey (cause it's gonna be a long long summer without the NHL!). 

See what I mean?

Even if you just try a day or two of each, that's enough for the next 6-9 months for your calendar.  Because of course, with ALL of these Easy Dating Tips, you are going to mix 'em up and do some different things at different times, right?

Enjoy and have fun.  Remember to bring your 35+ Sunscreen, Right?  We've learned that from Dr. Helton who sure know all about  Making Your Skin Beautiful without Surgery.

All the best,

April Braswell

Romance Coach, Online Dating Coach

Yup.

I'm at it again

TRY SOMETHING DIFFERENT.

Let's contemplate your fitness routine.

What do you usually do?

Are you a gym rat?

Your soul mate is probably running out in nature.

Do you love to hike?  (ooo!  me too!)

Our soul mate may be at the Yoga class at the gym.

Interestingly enough it is often MEN who are encouraged to go to a Yoga class to meet more women.

I feel this is indeed EXCELLENT advise.

And frankly, with where I live I can find a yoga class at a NUMBER of different times of day.

So if your work schedule is unusual like some of my fans who email me, you can still find a yoga class to try out.

Now, one of the nice things for helping your dating class with taking a short class, I think you're thinking, "Summer School AGAIN?!!".  Well, sorta.  One of the helpful attributes of taking a class with sessions is BOTH you have the advantage of seeing each other over the course of usually about 4-6 weeks.  So, you feel a little familiar after 1 or 2 classes.  You could... venture.... 3 sentences to the other.

And yet....

You ONLY have 6 wks.  So you have URGENCY.  You have a DEADline for your action.
 
I wonder what copywriting WounderKidd,.Sheridan Randolph, would have to say about creating Urgency and Deadlines?

Well, you only have 6 weeks. So, you have to converse with her once or twice and then by week 4 or 5 say,  "We're only having 1 or 2 more sessions.  Can I get your phone number?  I wanted to ask you out on a date."

Yes, use those words.  You'll live.

Now the additional beauty part is if she says NO, it is ONLY 1 or 2 more sessions after that. It's not like high school with the WHOLE rest of the year looming ahead of you.

Enjoy!

All the best,

April Braswell
Romance Coach, Online Dating Coach

To expand further on my idea and metaphor of TAKE A DETOUR:

TAKE A DETOUR AND FOLLOW THESE SIGNS:
Take a slightly different route to/from Church today.  (OK, so it's already afternoon where you are, so you can do this NEXT Sunday or even when you go to a mid-week evening service, or to drop your teens off at the Youth Fellowship)

Eat breakfast at a Denny's and sit at the counter.  Denny's is one of the few places I know that still has a COUNTER.  Around here in Silicon Valley we have this WONDERFUL breakfast place named Nini's.  Nini's still has counter service.  It is a secret I will tell you more about as another April Braswell Unique Easy Dating Tip.  In another post later.  Today at Denny's or whatever equivalent where you live, say "Hello" to the people to your left and to your right as you sip your coffee and half read the Sunday Paper.  You may need the social excuse to break the sound barrier of being able to say, "Would you please pass me the half-and-half?"  Or the Tabasco sauce bottle.  Or the salt and pepper.  They are your props.  Use whatever you can just to break that sound barrier.  You are practicing your social skills and positioning yourself for other singletons to see you.  You never know who you are going to meet or what new tidbit of information they will provide to you.  "Hey, you know, I'm single too.  Where do you like to go to meet single people your age?" Or "What do you do to meet other single people your age?"  "Really?  Wow, I'll have to remember that.  It sounds great.  Thank you.  I like to go to XYX"  or  "I like to do XYZ."  Again, thank them, and then turn back to your coffee or paper.  You are not trying to impose yourself too long beyond 3-5 sentences unless they are responsive in conversation with you.  If they utter 1 or 2 sentences, then they are just being polite.  If they utter 3-5 sentences, they might be interested in a conversation with you. 

John, you can even do this with your boys with you.  In a way, they are your props.  Trust me, they are so cute and handsome.  Every waitress will be delighted to chit chat with them.  Demonstrate and model your confident male conversation behavior with your waitress by simply engaging her in a little polite conversation.  Find SOMETHING to compliment her about.  That ALONE is already a great male dating behavior, a Dating Best Practice. 

Compliment the ladies.
The best compliments to women you are dating is on how they look, smell, sound, and are dressed.  When I say how they SMELL, I mean, compliment her perfume or in the absence of perfume her freshly showered smell.  "You sure look beautiful in that dress."  "You're so beautiful."  "You're so pretty."

Ok, but back to the waitress.  This is for small talk and you're maybe not trying to date her.  Just demonstrate and model SMALL TALK WITH WOMEN for your boys and get some practice in for yourself, too.

In which case, admire her waitressing.  Read her name tag is you can, and address her by her name.

"Jill, I was just telling my twin boys here how much I admired the great service you're giving us, filling our coffee and water all the time like you do.  How long have you been working here?  Have you been waitressing long?"

She will say something like, "Twins! Wow.  Oh, I'm a student at the local community college, and I've only just started working here." 

That was about 2-3 sentences.  She's got other tables to serve, just you're being gracious and convivial here.  They're well-practiced at this in The South (Yann and David, that's just another region within The States where they are very gracious, slower-paced and just about always have the time to connect with other people.  I know you both have crosssed The Pond a number of times.  Just to give you context.).  So, say maybe 1-2 more sentences to her, and let her get back to work.

"Wow, Jill, you've only just started.  That's very impressive.  Well, you're doing a great job.  Keep up the good work."

If she seems to have a minute or two more to talk, you could always add.

"You're studying at the community college?  That's great.  What are you studying?  My twin boys just back from serving our country in Iraq and are considering going back to college."

She might then tell you what she is studying.

Or if she is say, over 30 as a waitress, she might then turn to your boys, admire them, and ask THEM what they are considering studying.

This is all just to demonstrate to you some of the possible ways to practice your gracious communication skills and model it and your POISE WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX to your boys. Avoid putting them on the spot if you think they will socially panic like deer caught in the headlights, "Dad!  Don't make me talk to GIRLS.  I don't know HOW."  Well, they won't SAY that.  Their faces will. You know them best.

OK.  That's enough for today.  Congratulate yourself on the practice you got in.

Great job!

All the best,

April Braswell

Romance Coach, Online Dating Coach

Hi from the romantic heart of Silicon Valley, your Romance Coach and Online Dating Coach. 

Well, with all the street fairs and festivals that have started that I just blogged about and recommended that you check out, roadways are blocked off.  Our usual routes to

the shopping center
the shopping mall
our favorite bar
the social hall
the office
church

ARE BLOCKED!

I was driving up the San Francisco this morning to get my hair DONE at Joseph Cozza salon in The Gump's Building on Maiden Lane.  And, wouldn't you know it?  My usual route to 101 was BLOCKED to make room for Sunset Magazine's Street Festival.  Hmm, I'll have to WALK over there (save some gas!) tomorrow and make some new friends and maybe even some new dates.

I had to TAKE A DETOUR.

And that got me thinking.

I've said this before in some different ways, but in order to MEET MORE PEOPLE and ergo GET MORE DATES, we need to do SOMETHING DIFFERENT.

Awhile back when I was suggesting that we try some classes at the Community College, or the Learning Annex, or WHEREVER.  A coupla of the people responded saying grandma's favorite advise, "Oh, just do the activities you love, and you'll meet someone." 

Well.....

You might. 

And if you are 26 and not really serious about wanting to be in a great fulfilling and satisfying longterm romantic relationship that would lead to Marriage or your Life Partner (whether you covenant or not), sure, just keep doing what you doing and enjoying and maybe it will happen.

But if you are over 28 and you are starting to think about, "Heyyyyyy, you know, I really enjoy being Single.  Being Single is great.  I have a lot of fun with my friends.  But.... ah, I kinda want to be in a relationship.... How do I really DO that now?"  Then you actually need to....

DO NEW THINGS

Now as my buddy, Motivational Life Coach, Sue Crutcher recommends.  Baby Steps.  Baby Steps to change.

I am not suggesting that you move to France, New Orleans, or Phoenix, AZ. 

You do not need to move THOUSANDS of miles away.  Although you may have some reasons for doing so, and I cover that in my Romantic Love eBook (soon to be released, I'm reworking it).  But in general, what DOES help is to do some new things which are few degrees different than what you are doing now.

That way, you meet people who are more likely ALIGNED with you, but sufficiently DIFFERENT than you to create CHEMISTRY.  We NEED those differences for ROMANCE and SEXUAL ATTRACTION.  Vive la différence!  Thank God for them, or life would be too dull.

So, where I am, it is still early evening (my date is later tonight).  what about TONIGHT?  what are you doing?  Are you home alone?  Stop downloading the Porn as I tell my male clients, power down your computers.  (You're gasping to be taken away from that Life Line.....)  Ladies?  Put DOWN the Romance Novel and go Write One of YOUR OWN!

and GET OUT.

Go to a bar for 90 minutes.
Go to a country western bar at about 7/7:30 pm for their Dance Lessons.  you will meet 25 new people and a new skill.  Introduce yourself to each person you dance with.  Ask 7 of them to dance with you afterward.  I don't care if they are their with their GF or BF.  You just politely turn to the GF/BF and say,  "I'm a novice and could really use the practice.  Would you mind if I danced this dance with James?Abdul?  Jane?Sonia?"  Only a CLOD would say NO to that polite, respectful, couple honoring request.  It might be THEIR favorite song, but then they'll probably say, "How about the NEXT song?"  And if you are a man, you say to that lady who is already taken, "What you two have is really great."  And you just sort of plant the seeds to be fixed up with any of her single girlfriends.  You might even buy them a round of drinks and hang while drinking it, chit chatting.  Many ladies LOVE to play matchmaker, and you just might get a date from it.  You can always say,  "I'll be back here in 2 wks.  If you're GF would be more comfortable, she could just join the dance class then, and we'd meet then.  Thanks!"

If CW dance is REALLY not your thing.  There are Salsa classes.  VERY sexy.

I don't care WHAT you do.  You just CANNOT stay at HOME on Saturday night.  GET OUT.

Then report back to me what you did to be accountable.  (that includes that 28 yo man from The South here.....)

All the best,

April Braswell

Romance Coach, Online Dating Coach

WOW!

The Stanley Cup is OVER!

Congratulations to the Detroit Red Wings who played a GREAT series.

It's been TWO MONTHS of watching.

And now all the Hockey fans have all that time back in their lives... and perhaps you are .... still single....

And you are wondering, I'm single, I'm one of those singles ...  what can I do this weekend to increase my chances to get dates?  Or to get MORE dates?

Are you in a fulfilling romantic relationship like the one that you want and deserve?  Steve and Sonya, I already know YOUR answers to that question about your joyfully fulfilling and satisfying sexual relationships.  TG!

Are you going to be alone yet AGAIN this Friday and Saturday night?

Are you still looking for your Romantic Soul Mate?  That special person for you to give your heart to?

Well, you could stay home...   alone...   AGAIN...

OR

You could GET OUT THERE and go PLACE yourself advantageously to meet other singles like yourself, or perhaps little more different than you so that you foster CHEMISTRY for a feeling of fabulous sexual tension.  Marvelous sensation, isn't it?

OK.  So you're asking, APRIL!  I KNOW you are a great Romance Coach and an expert Online Dating Coach, but what am I to DO?  What am I going to DO this weekend to up my chances of meeting other singles.

GO TO A STREET FAIR!

Yes, it's that time of year again.

Street Fairs.  They are all over the place.  Different ethnic festivals.  Chinese.  Russian.  Italian.  Irish.  Indian.  Japanese.  Jewish Festivals.  Latino Carnival.  You try some different foods.  Learn about a culture which is perhaps a bit different than your own.  Or is your own and you are one of the ambassadors.  Cool, n'est pas? 

Doing this will require that you be open to a MultiCultural Dating, Interracial Dating relationship.  Of course, where I live, this is like breathing.  It's just such a GIVEN.

To find Street Fairs in your area, check out Google, naturally, as well as your local newspaper and alternative newspaper for their Events Calendar. 

Part of the fun part of eating at one of these Street Fairs is the very eating of different food offers you a point over which to safely converse with OTHERS.  "Oh, wow," sucking in breath, "I've never tasted food so HOT! WOW!  Would you please pass me the plain yogurt?"  and you have exchanged WORDS.  We call that, Starting a Conversation.  Now you're rolling! 

Enjoy! 

April Braswell    
Romance Coach, Online Dating Coach

Yes, NOT to neglect the single men who were like, "Hello, April, what can I do to increase my odds of meeting more women if there are so many MEN in all those business classes?"

Head down the hallway to the arts and crafts rooms.

Or as BabySitting expert Lisa McLellan remarked, "What about all those dance classes that I like to take?"

yup.  FILLED with women.  LOTS of women.  For all those men who write me about how they are in a rut and just are NOT meeting single women or really that MANY single women, arts, crafts, dance classes, etc. are DEFINITELY a great place to work the Law of Large Numbers. 

At the end, you just of stroll over to the vending machines, "Hey, can I buy you a bottle of water?"  I mean, what women would refuse a bottle of WATER?  And it won't break your bank and you've got a convo STARTED.

And that's the point.

When you want further guidance about more specifically HOW after you're meeting more women but not quite converting those to dates, or you're still stuck, well, shoot me a note and check out my services at my website after you've read a number of the articles and we can schedule some one-on-one coaching time.  I can be very general here, but to really help you in your individual situation and go through all the nuances of what you need, one-on-one coaching is best.  And as we all know, it's the winners in life who hire coaches to succeed even further in life and achieve their goals.  I mean, anyone can "Get Married" but how about finding The Best Love Partner for YOU?  And to create a GREAT romantic relationship, one you LOVE, and not one that is boring (yawn) or stifling (eek!).  I mean, isn't that what you want?  A great romantic relationship with a wonderful life partner?  I think you deserve THAT, cause marriage lasts a LOOOoooooooooooNG time!  You deserve the whole shebang.

All the best and THEN some!

April Braswell
Romance Coach, Online Dating Coach

OK, now that the weekend is over, we return to our regularly scheduled programming with my work as a Romance Coach and Online Dating Coach.  Time to develop your Romantic Life and GET a Romantic Relationship.  I know, I know, some of you here are already IN a fabulous Romantic Relationship.  I love that.  Romance, Sexual Connection, and Chemistry are all essential elements in creating a really WONDERFULLY rewarding and fulfilling Long Term Relationship.  Gasp, dare I say it?  Yup, even a ... Marriage!

I know some of you here do NOT want to marry again and are not seeking to marry or have marriage be in your life.  While some of you getting married or being married is essential for you.  And some of you are indeed ever so happily married and love marriage.  One is newly in my Vox Hood, but he has YET to post....  I'll introduce that gentleman to you later....

So, back to Easy Dating Tip to Getting MORE Dates.  Because if what YOU want is INDEED to marry, you are seeking MARRIAGE, well, you can pray that your UPS delivery person is your Soul Mate.... or you need to accept reality and GO ON MORE DATES.  Indeed, as singles daters, we need to GO ON DATES to meet people and explore the possibilities for creating that satisfying and fulfilling long term relationship.

So?  What are some MORE ideas and easy dating tips for getting more dates?

On my theme of Summer School, because it is JUST so much FUN.  Today let's contemplate BUSINESS as a topic.

Indeed, if you look at most Bschools and are applying to pursue an MBA, you will find that there are a LOT more MEN pursuing this than women.

Business classes are often the same that way. But not all.

So pick up the brochure from your local community college or learning annex and take a look at the offerings.

What are they offering in Real Estate?
Financial Investments?
Mortgage?  (oh John!)
or perhaps Plumbing?
Electrians?  (hi Matt!)

The point is, go to some classes that are a BIT DIFFERENT for you.

In general, I find the ones which are 1 night, 1 or 2 days, weekend thingamagibbers are the better investment of your time if it is a topic which you are not personally wanting really to DEVELOP your knowledge of. 

Stretch yourself... a little as my friend, Sue Crutcher, Life Coaching and Empowerment through Baby Steps
would recommend.  Baby Steps here.  Don't commit to the time and expense of a 13 week class that you do NOT want to take.

However, while you are there, you MUST make an effort to meet and chat up the Others if you actually want to GET MORE DATES!

Enjoy and Stretch!

All the best,

April Braswell
Romance Coach, Online Dating Coach