9 posts tagged “fun”
Yup. Another Easy Dating Tip from your Romance Coach and Online Dating Coach. Perhaps you were worried that I had, eek, RUN OUT OF IDEAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ooooo noooooo, say it ain't so!!!
No worries. I got a million of 'em. With me, my clients are NEVER in a dating rut with NOTHING they can do on a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday to GO MEET MORE PEOPLE and GET DATES or GET MORE DATES.
Yesterday I encouraged you to go try a YOGA class to get a romantic date.
Now, I mainly talked to MEN about doing this for meeting Da Ladies.
However, and here's your bonus freebie (free on top of free, is what? Uber Free?) because this blog is going to be an other Easy Dating Tip, other than about Yoga.
So, as a bonus, the thing is, ladies, YOU can take Yoga Classes to meet MEN, too. It's not just The Reverse of yesterday.
Part of the point of TRY SOMETHING new and stretching yourself (HAD to say it, we're talking about Yoga, right?) is to do something a bit different than what is 100% you you you SO you can meet someone WITH WHOM YOU HAVE CHEMISTRY.
If they are IDENTICAL to you, no chemistry, no fun, no surging passion. And I don't know about you, but I have GOT to have some surging PASSION in MY romantic relationships.
So ladies, if Yoga is not quite YOUR THING what you NORMALLY DO, then for YOU to take a Yoga class IS a stretch. And you might meet some nice man who is working on loosening up his hockey thighs.
That was my OVER DELIVERY part since this is a FREE Easy Dating Tips Advise Blog, where other Romance Coaches will actually CHARGE you for the pleasure of reading their articles so you could actually get a sense of would I want to work with YOU in particular. I've learned all about Over Delivery from MR. Over Delivery Himself, Motivational Speaker, Master of Persuasion, Kevin Hogan.
Now for the real point of this blog.
Yup. More MOVING. It's Summer Time. I am all about GETTING OUT, GETTING MOVING, Lookin Good! and GETTING HEALTHY.
JOIN AN ACTIVITIES CLUB.
Around here we have Absolute Adventures.
Join a Hiking Club.Cycling.Scrabblers who Blog. Kettlebelling. Ju Jitsu. Chi Gung. Tae Kwan Do. Kirate. TreadMillsRUs. Jogging. Power Walkers. Marathon Runners. Triathlon Training. Volley Ball. Beach Volley Ball. Volley Ball at the Park. Tennis. Baseball. Softball. Frisbee Golf. Swimming. Golf (where's John?). Basketball. Street Hockey (cause it's gonna be a long long summer without the NHL!).
See what I mean?
Even if you just try a day or two of each, that's enough for the next 6-9 months for your calendar. Because of course, with ALL of these Easy Dating Tips, you are going to mix 'em up and do some different things at different times, right?
Enjoy and have fun. Remember to bring your 35+ Sunscreen, Right? We've learned that from Dr. Helton who sure know all about Making Your Skin Beautiful without Surgery.
All the best,
April Braswell
Romance Coach, Online Dating Coach
OK, now that the weekend is over, we return to our regularly scheduled programming with my work as a Romance Coach and Online Dating Coach. Time to develop your Romantic Life and GET a Romantic Relationship. I know, I know, some of you here are already IN a fabulous Romantic Relationship. I love that. Romance, Sexual Connection, and Chemistry are all essential elements in creating a really WONDERFULLY rewarding and fulfilling Long Term Relationship. Gasp, dare I say it? Yup, even a ... Marriage!
I know some of you here do NOT want to marry again and are not seeking to marry or have marriage be in your life. While some of you getting married or being married is essential for you. And some of you are indeed ever so happily married and love marriage. One is newly in my Vox Hood, but he has YET to post.... I'll introduce that gentleman to you later....
So, back to Easy Dating Tip to Getting MORE Dates. Because if what YOU want is INDEED to marry, you are seeking MARRIAGE, well, you can pray that your UPS delivery person is your Soul Mate.... or you need to accept reality and GO ON MORE DATES. Indeed, as singles daters, we need to GO ON DATES to meet people and explore the possibilities for creating that satisfying and fulfilling long term relationship.
So? What are some MORE ideas and easy dating tips for getting more dates?
On my theme of Summer School, because it is JUST so much FUN. Today let's contemplate BUSINESS as a topic.
Indeed, if you look at most Bschools and are applying to pursue an MBA, you will find that there are a LOT more MEN pursuing this than women.
Business classes are often the same that way. But not all.
So pick up the brochure from your local community college or learning annex and take a look at the offerings.
What are they offering in Real Estate?
Financial Investments?
Mortgage? (oh John!)
or perhaps Plumbing?
Electrians? (hi Matt!)
The point is, go to some classes that are a BIT DIFFERENT for you.
In general, I find the ones which are 1 night, 1 or 2 days, weekend thingamagibbers are the better investment of your time if it is a topic which you are not personally wanting really to DEVELOP your knowledge of.
Stretch yourself... a little as my friend, Sue Crutcher, Life Coaching and Empowerment through Baby Steps
would recommend. Baby Steps here. Don't commit to the time and expense of a 13 week class that you do NOT want to take.
However, while you are there, you MUST make an effort to meet and chat up the Others if you actually want to GET MORE DATES!
Enjoy and Stretch!
All the best,
April Braswell
Romance Coach, Online Dating Coach
I can already see Steve Chambers, Leadership Training, John Wadsworth, Mr. Mortgage, Credit, and Real Estate Finance, and Tim "Sell or Die" Birch, and maybe even Mr. Energy Man himself, Matthew Shields - Energy Expert, will feel compelled to comment on that title. Well, it's after midnight, so I was feeling audacious and went ahead and included it.
So, it's Wednesday.
Do you know where your next date is coming from?
Hmmm.
That's why you're here reading all of my tips.
Back to your ROUTINE.
What do you NORMALLY do on YOUR Wednesday?
Coffee? Try McDonalds instead of Bucks or Peets,
I need to get gas. I'll use a DIFFERENT station and YUP, I'll get out of my car, did I mention I'll look fabulous? Hair DONE. Make up fully on. Cute colors and businessy. Go inside. Pay cash. Chit chat. I usually use Valero on El Camino. Instead I'll use the station on Marsh Road.
Hmmm. LUNCH TIME! Well, as a matter of fact, I have an unusual errand I have to run. PERFECT! I have to get my fabulous St John's Couture Knit suit blocked and ready for my weekend in Philly with Motivational Speaker, Kevin Hogan.
The GREAT MALL is a schlep and a half away from my office. So, I'll head out a little early and get to the mall during peak business. If I can manage it, I'll even aim to be there a touch early. I'll run into more MEN that way. Find something to eat there. TOTALLY different than my usual lunch.
Notice how this is a GOOD thing?
What are two small things you could do differently today to ensure you are simply MEETING new people?
Post them in the comments section, "April, here's what I'm doing differently today to meet more new people...." I love hearing the stories.
Of course, Steve is on the road, so he's meeting LOTS of new people.
I just might have a special guest tomorrow if I get to meet our Mystery Man, Success Coach, Yann Vernier. He'll be in my hood as of tomorrow. Aren't you CURIOUS to know what he looks like? I'll take pix!
All the best,
April Braswell
Romance Coach, Online Dating Coach
Eeeeek!
Ok, I am flying out to Philly in just a few days for Kevin Hogan, Motivational Speaker
's Image Take Away weekend.
And I have to PRACTICE for my presentation.
Of course, I can talk for HOURS about my topic. Just ask John. He phoned me the other day to ask me an embedded hyperlink question. And I talked about Romance Coach, Online Dating Coach topics for more than 1 hour with him. Bless his heart!
So, let's stick with that idea of PRACTICE.
A number of my clients are in some kind of a rut.
Oh April, I've tried EVERYTHING already.
April, there is NO ONE near me.
I believe you. That's ok.
Does that belief help you get into the romantic relationship you want?
Does it help them?
No. And they say that. "No. It doesn't."
That's right. No it doesn't. And you CAN find and create a wonderful romantic relationship.
There's hope for you. Really it's easy to do. And yes, it will take some EFFORT, but you've already been making an effort.
I'm just here to help you actually FOCUS all of your efforts towards your goal of a wonderful long-term successfully fulfilling romantic relationship.
You will go on 10 days in the next 2 weeks. If it takes you 2.5 weeks, that's OK.
OK, I think THAT number is easier for women than men, but AIM for that. I'll give you a B+ if you go on 7 dates.
1. Ladies, post a personals on Craigs List for area. No, you don't have to post a photo. You will get about 25 responses within 10 hours. 3 of them will be married men looking for extra-curriular activities. 1 will be a man hoping you will go with him to a Sex Club because he can't GET IN without a woman, you won't have to do anything, but would you go with him please? And that leaves you with 21. MEET THEM. Do NOT try to do a TON of pre-qualifying here. Unlike Steve Chamber's excellent blog post pertaining to Sales Training, Leadership Training
and QUALIFYING them before you meet, the GOAL here is to SHIFT your energy and PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE.
Coffee dates are acceptable here. Normally I nix those. This is an exercise. Wine bars would be better. S.N.O.B. is a fantastic choice if you live in the SF area. Fab wine. Sweet ambiance. And it's just a little unique!
Oh, btw, I have a BEAUTIFUL GF who did an ad at CL. Met her fiance that way. So, while this IS an exercise (I can see you are gritting your teeth!), it CAN bear direct fruit! Have fun and KEEP AN OPEN MIND!
2. Men, if you have to, go to a different bar every night. Ask girls for their cards. "I'd like to go out with you. How is this Thursday? (Friday, Saturday, Sunday brunch, Sunday evening, Monday night)
At the end of your two weeks, you will find you have met people you had NOT met before.
Your perspective will have opened up and you will SEE and EXPERIENCE that there ARE more people out there who MIGHT be a good fit for you.
Perhaps you will have a new hiking buddy, a new Jazz Club afficionado. Know someone in the Mayor's Office. Dated a public figure. Have tried 3 new lipstick colors.
Now leverage that momentum and go on some MORE dates!
Of the 10 you met, 2 or 3 will be contenders for a second date.
Have FUN!
All the best,
April Braswell
Romance Coach, Online Dating Coach
Well, it's Monday morning.
Have you made your coffee yet?
Ok, so I DO believe in being frugal and not going OUT and buying a cup of coffee every day. So normally I am making a pot of coffee at home.
HOWEVER! If you are single and you haven't been on a date this weekend....
Or you DID go on dates this weekend and there really aren't going to be any date #2s of out these....
then you could go to a coffee joint and get some coffee in a public place. Put this in your dating budget. You have one, right?
So! You've tried EVERYTHING! You've EXHAUSTED all of your resources around you? You're friends - marrieds and singles have no more friends or acquaintances with which to fix you up.
And you're still not engaged.
Now what?
Go hiking!
Look up for your metro area all the hiking clubs.
What churches in your area meet for a monthly hike? Get on their email list. Better still, pick up the PHONE and talk to the leader. Introduce yourself. I'm Bob, I'm 33 and quite fit. Are there different fitness levels in the group? That's OK? Good.
Sierra Club
Absolute Adventures
Go Google athletic and adventure clubs in your metro area.
Place an add in Craig's Iist looking to form a hiking group of singles. Arrange to meet for breakfast at iHop or Denny's first so you all gaggle, socialize and feel safe with each other, and then go for a hike.
Check out the training classes at REI, Northface or the local outdoors outfitter store near where YOU live.
Now shift 10 miles north. Or 25 miles east. Or 37 miles south.
Expand your radius just a little so you stretch yourself.
Feeling in a rut?
Plan a trip to get away and just GO SOMEWHERE different. Check out Scott Bell, The Road Warrior's website for some travel ideas.
MOVE/shift your body.
I'll continue in the same direction tomorrow.
Trust me, you have NOT met everyone and you have NOT exhausted your metro area. Expand your vision.
You're going to have more fun AND meet new people!
God bless and God speed!
April Braswell
Romance Coach, Online Dating Coach
Yup. It's Sunday. First of all, in my life, this is the most important day of the year. Yes, it's my birthday. Why does that make it the most important day of the year for me? Cause I am REALLY REALLY glad to have BEEN born and to BE ALIVE!
You will definitely notice laced throughout my blog and My Website, April Braswell, Romance Coach, Online Dating Coach that THEME of LIVE! LIVE! LIVE! I already had that tendency before I met my late husband. And indeed, he was drawn to my unique combination of beauty and vivacity. (I know, it's true, I AM having too much fun. Wanna join me? It's contagious. You'll have fun 2!) Something I really got to LIVE OUT with walking along side him with his battle with cancer was to treat him LIKE A MAN throughout, not an invalid or a patient, never doing FOR him what he could do himself, helping HIM to do it, but he did it. And to LIVE UNTIL WE DIE. too many people are so caught up in the fears for our security in usually our jobs and sometimes our relationships (like marriage becomes a prison or the fear of it keeps us single, like, forever) that we never take the risks to LIVE. Take some risks in communication.
Soooo, what about TODAY, you're wondering. You're probably already thinking to yourself, "She's ALREADY advised that I try out a different CHURCH. April has GOT to suggest something NEW and DIFFERENT!"
Yup. And I'm gonna. But remember, you have a list now of like, 23 churches you can go try out. Don't go into cognitive dissonance and overwhelm, just make a list, put a Sunday date next to it, but those in your calendar and ROTATE!
And for today? Where am I going to send you?
To the Laundromat!
Yup, I GOTTA do laundry. I have reached what I refer to as The Laundry Imperative.
I actually have SOME clothes left which I can wear. And while I LOVE Jennifer Skinner's Blog on The VERY Small Closet I'm just not THERE yet (it's a process, I know she'd support me in this and the de-layering of casting off clothes. And yes, I have 2 more outfits that are GOING!). In fact, it's part of the side effect of NOT having a Washer Dryer that I have collected more clothes so I can go longer between laundromat runs. Like back in college when you'd buy MORE underwear so you could go longer without having to hang in the laundry room? Similar.
Soooo, on one hand, oye, yes, Laundromats are BUSY on the weekends!
But if you are single, that is the whole point!
GO WHEN IT IS BUSY!
You WILL meet people.
OK, some of the single men have been asking me to give more scripts for MEN to use here.
Men, you can ALWAYS safely ask a woman about laundry. "Tide? Do you find that's really better than the generic? What do you like about it?" (Notice the second sentence was an open ended sentence. The point here is for her to speak a sentence to you, not just utter, as "Yes" or a "No.") "Really. That's great. Do you like any of the dryer sheets? Which ones?" Once your laundry is in the washer or in the dryer, "hey, I was going to go around the corner and grab a coffee at Starbucks. Can I bring you back a latte? Would you like to join me?"
That is not even a coffee date. That is like in college when you'd grab a bite to eat. This is just friendly banter and a coffee. You're just NATURALLY and CASUALLY meeting and connecting with women. It's like a mutual compliment. You don't even have to be HUGELY enamored of her. The point is PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE.
Now of course, if you DID find her fabulous and attractive (oh no, you're beautiful and brainy! toe curling combination, I get this all the time. They can't stand it.), be a MAN, and say, "Leslie, I'd like to take you out on a REAL date. [omg, yes, you used THAT WORD - Date! ahhhh. But we're adults here and you're good with that.] Can I get your phone number so I can call you?" And if you're really really good and want to distinguish yourself MASSIVELY as a man, you'll say, "I want to take you out on a real date. How is Friday night for you? 7 o'clock?" Just be ready to catch her cause she's going to fall out of her chair and her mouth will be slightly agape. As she closes her mouth, the words that will come out of her mouth will be.... "Yes." Or "Yes, that sounds like fun!"
Now go back and fold your laundry. After she says yes, go ahead and shoot me an email and let me know how it goes! apriljbraswell@aol.com
Mazel tov!
April Braswell
Romance Coach, Online Dating Coach
Thank you to everyone who commented and wrote to me about their praying for Zig Ziglar. Indeed, he is a living legend and testimony to genuine caring and helping people. Kinda like someone a number of us here know and love, just ... younger.... (Kevin Hogan - Motivational Speaker, Humanitarian). Zig's surgery went very well. Thank you for your prayers. Everything went according to plan. Just click that link for Zig's health updates.
So, it is about to become Saturday morning.
GET UP!
GET SHOWERED!
and GET OUT!
Ladies, time and again, I do really really well with meeting MEN early Saturday mornings. What is it about men that gets them up and at 'em Saturday mornings? (When I just want to stay in bed, snuggling my pillow, or getting up and leisurely drinking my Peets coffee. mmmmm.) But men? they are UP and OUT!
So ladies, when you are still single, you MUST do this as well and go place yourself sweetly, dressed nicely, yes, you showered and did your make up (lightly, yes? It is Saturday morning and not time for the ENCORE! gala, right? so, less is more, ok?).
Go get a coffee.
Walk around.
Explore the farmers market. Go online and find where there are some farmers' markets in your area.
While you are there buying excellent produce, chat people up. "Oh, are those heirloom tomatoes? I hear those are the best! How are some ways I could serve them? You don't say". The other people at the same vendor booth will also chime in with THEIR recipes. People are naturally helpful that way. We are. You will end up in conversation with a number of people. Thank them for their great help. "Oh, really. That recipe sounds great. Could you email that to me, please? Here's my email address."
You do have personal cards right, yes?
OK, we'll go over those in another blog post. Just go with it right now.
Take a walk along the hiking trails. You have your coffee in hand and are walking at an even pace, sipping your coffee. Just nod, smile, and utter those polite nice little "Hello"s to people you pass . No need to push yourself upon them. But you're going to be back here again the same time next week and next. We become more comfortable with people upon repeated exposure, as Kevin Hogan, PhD, cited in his popular book, Irresistible Attraction. BE that attractive person they just keep SEEING early every Saturday morning. Who knows? Will they talk with you this morning? Or will you find something to comment about concerning your surrounding to draw them into a short conversation with you. Aim for 2 or 3 sentences only. If they are interested, they will respond with a few sentences of their own. If not, only 2 or 3 sentences is simply warm and polite. You have not thrust yourself upon them. Smile and wish them a pleasant walk. If they start to talk with you, SMILE and be light in your responses.
Enjoy the day and your new adventures!
God bless,
April Braswell
Romance Coach, Online Dating Coach
I'm SUCH a relationship building woman. Ergo I live and breath networking. It was something Kevin Hogan - Internationally Renowned Motivational Speaker noticed about me even during Boot Camp 2007 in Viva Las Vegas, Baby!
So naturally, with networking and relationship building... I gaggle. I gaggle my friends. I gaggle my girlfriends. I am KNOWN for this. In the business world, these are the characteristics of a Market Maker and Mover & Shaker (or M&S as some of us joke).
Innnnnterestingly enough, there is RESEARCH (I can just see Dr. Kevin Hogan, Leading Reading Body Language Expert smiling to read that I have leveraged empirical research!), about characteristics of Women Who Get Married. This is included in the quality book, "Why Men Marry Some Women and not Others." It's a good short read and has some helpful information. Others are meatier, but they are researchers, so the tone is different than some other dating books.
So, this RESEARCH... one of the characteristics is that women who get married have a group of other single girlfriends who are actively looking for a marriage relationship.
Well, I already did this. Indeed, I also vary the AGE of my gaggle. We joke about it. If the men we meet are late 40s and into their 50s, send them to April! OK, the minute they see her, they're already moving in that sparkling pink direction.... magnetically drawn. It's the Power of Pink Sparklies!
30s? J, T, maybe R. Late 30s, early 40s, R.
We get together about once a month for a Girlz Nite OUT! We do this on Thursday night so that our married lady friends can join us without problems with children or dear husband. Although, if they need a Baby SItter, Nanny, or Child Care, they could Ask Lisa.
And for us Single Gals, Thursday night doesn't interfere with Date Nigtz of Friday and Saturday evening.
We mix it up.
We mix up the VENUE! And when we started to get in rut of always somewhere downtown Palo Alto.... we shifted and went to downtown San Carlos one month (Town in downtown SC). We also rotate who PICKS the venue. We will TRY NEW THINGS. (you're impressed, I can tell already even before I post.). We will try a new venue, have even helped a fund raiser (The Princess Project - helping all girls be a princess for their prom who couldn't otherwise afford to go) by meeting there to start and adding friends who wouldn't have attended and contributed otherwise. We tried the venue for an hour or so, didn't really care for it, and shifted to one of our favorites. But we DID give it a try for more than an hour.
BTW, I donated a beautiful sparkley Rhinestone tiara. Naturally. And I hope the girl who wore it indeed felt that evening, "I AM a PRINCESS!" And she'd have been right.
So, least you feel I'm at it with my Romance Coach, Online Dating Coach clients on a daily basis with a whip and a chair (or whips and chains, whatever, your choice, I'm very accepting....) about these ACTIONS, here is one that is SO EASY. This is SUCH an Easy Dating Tips bit. "Go out for drinks with your girlfriends once a month.... Vary the bar. OK, if you must... and Have Fun.
Yeah, that's your TOUGH homework for the Thursday.
Go Have Fun and share it with others to magnify it.
We use Evite for org'g the invitation list, citing venue (address), and it automatically sends out reminders. Cool, huh? Yup, I DO live in the land of Web 2.0. As a Networking and Relationship MAVEN, I was a natural for all the Social Networking sites.
Have fun! I'll take a Belvedere Cosmopolitan (yes, I AM part of the SITC generation.) or a Pomegranate Margarita (discovered at Andale on University. YUM!) please! Thanks!
Cheers!
April Braswell
This evening on a call I had one of those conversations where he was almost.... whining. Not quite. Just his attitude is very "it'll NEVER work..... THAT will NEVER work... for me."
I don't care!
Suck it up!
Get out there!
Be a man!
Go meet more women!
Well, the thing is, I do care. But I'll kick his butt a bit as well. And he is going to go out and make an effort this week so he has some DATES this weekend and next.
Now, I get feedback, ok, overly analytical grilling really, about every Easy Dating Tips which I give him. "Do you KNOW people who have met at a coffee shop? at Starbucks?" Like he wants a guarantee before he will even go to Starbucks? Oye! Give me a break, go! Get coffee! Say hello to people. Ask if they prefer the Nonfat muffin to the full fat Bran muffin.
The point is, take something which you are already doing, and just shift it a few degrees so you are meeting people, conversing, and opening up your world, your heart, and your mind so that you are going on MORE DATES.
If you keep doing precisely what you are doing, you will continue to receive the same results.
Now the thing is, I am here venting and care so much I want to shake him, it's because he's wounded. I get that. Which is why I just listened and returned to the focus of, "and what are you doing to do today to meet more people and interact with women you haven't met before." Some might think he is jaded. I feel he is forlorn in a masculine way. I also spent a moment or two building him up. Because he is not YET believing in himself. He will. Because I won't give up on him.
So, what are YOU doing today to meet more people and ensure you have DATES this weekend?
Let's consider another whole area for FUN FUN FUN: DANCING!
Take dance lessons.
Salsa
West Coast Swing (WCS)
Argentine Tango
Ballroom
Cha Cha
Viennese Waltz
American Tango
Country Western
Two Step
Line Dancing
Now the thing about taking Dance Lessons is this really IS about sowing seed. You WILL meet more people and IMMEDIATELY, and you will even be in each others arms... Nice feeling isn't it? However, it takes about 6 wks minimum of attending classes regularly to get initially proficient in any dance. Keep showing up at the classes. Stay for the social dance time afterwards. Practice with the OTHER beginners - this is a team thing, we all get to practice being GRACIOUS and FORBEARING as toes are stepped on and leads are misunderstood.
After about 6-8 weeks, you will find... you can dance! And then you can dance with more people. Go to clubs. Hang. I know couples who forged their relationship over dancing. And I get asked out on dates regularly where I go dancing now that I have been there and dancing for awhile. But you must FIRST sow the seed of getting proficient for basic dancing. Then have fun and move to the music!
Mazel tov!
April Braswell
