10 posts tagged “date”
Happy Sunday!
As a further amplification of my Romance Coach and Online Dating Coach post from yesterday about DO Social Networking for enhancing Your Dating Life, tee hee. You DO still need actually to MEET F2F.
So, just like with the Online Dating Sites (either the Free Online Dating sites or the ones where you pay for your membership), the idea is to exchange a few emails and actually...
ARRANGE TO MEET F2F.
Otherwise it is a fantasy and you are wasting your time. I generally recommend about 3-5 emails to connect and segue to Let's Meet. When you live more than 35-50 miles apart, you might email for a bit longer. I'll address that in a forthcoming article at my website. More than about 5 emails and there's something wrong. Sometimes the other party is recently divorcing or divorced and may just be rusty in this area of dating and not know Online Dating Protocol and Online Dating Etiquette (like don't swear in an email to a lady before you meet or I would advise her NOT to meet you! Initially display your gentlemanly behavior. We all burp and expel gas, but let's be gracious and well-mannered, OK? And some of the blue collar men I know who you might THINK this would be more of an issue with are the ones who are MOST gentlemanly with Da Ladies. So, I'm conferring respect to all of you men, here.).
So, be a little forbearing. You may have a diamond in the rough. Remember, dating is to practice your communication skills of what you want and don't want and to practice your skills on How To Flirt? (you ARE flirting, right? OK. Good. phew!).
When my sweet friend Lisa from BabySitting World, Boston's HOTTEST Mom, and yup, sorry guys, MARRIED, doesn't understand how Social Networking would benefit her, well, it may NOT cause she is MARRIED. Of course, if you are PLANNING to go on a date, you might need her free Ebook on what to look for in a Baby Sitter. Do check out her website. This lady is truly an expert and amazing.
But for those of us who are SINGLE, it is a great additional component in your Dating Strategy.
Hope that helps in clarifying things.
For those of us in sales, my guideline about arrange to meet within a few emails, you may notice the Law of Sales Speed being applied here. There is MOMENTUM in Sales. Once there is an INTEREST EXPRESSED, we need to arrange for ACTION NEXT STEPS, not just general phone calls to keep things warm UNTIL there is a project ready. Same thing with Dating. Can you imagine if we said, "well, when you're READY to get married, call me, and we'll go on a few dates THEN!"
Dating is about BEING SEEN and KNOWN and about GETTING READY for a Romantic Relationship.
Enjoy!
All the best,
April Braswell
Romance Coach, Online Dating Coach
WOW!
The Stanley Cup is OVER!
Congratulations to the Detroit Red Wings who played a GREAT series.
It's been TWO MONTHS of watching.
And now all the Hockey fans have all that time back in their lives... and perhaps you are .... still single....
And you are wondering, I'm single, I'm one of those singles ... what can I do this weekend to increase my chances to get dates? Or to get MORE dates?
Are you in a fulfilling romantic relationship like the one that you want and deserve? Steve and Sonya, I already know YOUR answers to that question about your joyfully fulfilling and satisfying sexual relationships. TG!
Are you going to be alone yet AGAIN this Friday and Saturday night?
Are you still looking for your Romantic Soul Mate? That special person for you to give your heart to?
Well, you could stay home... alone... AGAIN...
OR
You could GET OUT THERE and go PLACE yourself advantageously to meet other singles like yourself, or perhaps little more different than you so that you foster CHEMISTRY for a feeling of fabulous sexual tension. Marvelous sensation, isn't it?
OK. So you're asking, APRIL! I KNOW you are a great Romance Coach and an expert Online Dating Coach, but what am I to DO? What am I going to DO this weekend to up my chances of meeting other singles.
GO TO A STREET FAIR!
Yes, it's that time of year again.
Street Fairs. They are all over the place. Different ethnic festivals. Chinese. Russian. Italian. Irish. Indian. Japanese. Jewish Festivals. Latino Carnival. You try some different foods. Learn about a culture which is perhaps a bit different than your own. Or is your own and you are one of the ambassadors. Cool, n'est pas?
Doing this will require that you be open to a MultiCultural Dating, Interracial Dating relationship. Of course, where I live, this is like breathing. It's just such a GIVEN.
To find Street Fairs in your area, check out Google, naturally, as well as your local newspaper and alternative newspaper for their Events Calendar.
Part of the fun part of eating at one of these Street Fairs is the very eating of different food offers you a point over which to safely converse with OTHERS. "Oh, wow," sucking in breath, "I've never tasted food so HOT! WOW! Would you please pass me the plain yogurt?" and you have exchanged WORDS. We call that, Starting a Conversation. Now you're rolling!
Enjoy!
April Braswell
Romance Coach, Online Dating Coach
Yes, NOT to neglect the single men who were like, "Hello, April, what can I do to increase my odds of meeting more women if there are so many MEN in all those business classes?"
Head down the hallway to the arts and crafts rooms.
Or as BabySitting expert Lisa McLellan remarked, "What about all those dance classes that I like to take?"
yup. FILLED with women. LOTS of women. For all those men who write me about how they are in a rut and just are NOT meeting single women or really that MANY single women, arts, crafts, dance classes, etc. are DEFINITELY a great place to work the Law of Large Numbers.
At the end, you just of stroll over to the vending machines, "Hey, can I buy you a bottle of water?" I mean, what women would refuse a bottle of WATER? And it won't break your bank and you've got a convo STARTED.
And that's the point.
When you want further guidance about more specifically HOW after you're meeting more women but not quite converting those to dates, or you're still stuck, well, shoot me a note and check out my services at my website after you've read a number of the articles and we can schedule some one-on-one coaching time. I can be very general here, but to really help you in your individual situation and go through all the nuances of what you need, one-on-one coaching is best. And as we all know, it's the winners in life who hire coaches to succeed even further in life and achieve their goals. I mean, anyone can "Get Married" but how about finding The Best Love Partner for YOU? And to create a GREAT romantic relationship, one you LOVE, and not one that is boring (yawn) or stifling (eek!). I mean, isn't that what you want? A great romantic relationship with a wonderful life partner? I think you deserve THAT, cause marriage lasts a LOOOoooooooooooNG time! You deserve the whole shebang.
All the best and THEN some!
April Braswell
Romance Coach, Online Dating Coach
OK, now that the weekend is over, we return to our regularly scheduled programming with my work as a Romance Coach and Online Dating Coach. Time to develop your Romantic Life and GET a Romantic Relationship. I know, I know, some of you here are already IN a fabulous Romantic Relationship. I love that. Romance, Sexual Connection, and Chemistry are all essential elements in creating a really WONDERFULLY rewarding and fulfilling Long Term Relationship. Gasp, dare I say it? Yup, even a ... Marriage!
I know some of you here do NOT want to marry again and are not seeking to marry or have marriage be in your life. While some of you getting married or being married is essential for you. And some of you are indeed ever so happily married and love marriage. One is newly in my Vox Hood, but he has YET to post.... I'll introduce that gentleman to you later....
So, back to Easy Dating Tip to Getting MORE Dates. Because if what YOU want is INDEED to marry, you are seeking MARRIAGE, well, you can pray that your UPS delivery person is your Soul Mate.... or you need to accept reality and GO ON MORE DATES. Indeed, as singles daters, we need to GO ON DATES to meet people and explore the possibilities for creating that satisfying and fulfilling long term relationship.
So? What are some MORE ideas and easy dating tips for getting more dates?
On my theme of Summer School, because it is JUST so much FUN. Today let's contemplate BUSINESS as a topic.
Indeed, if you look at most Bschools and are applying to pursue an MBA, you will find that there are a LOT more MEN pursuing this than women.
Business classes are often the same that way. But not all.
So pick up the brochure from your local community college or learning annex and take a look at the offerings.
What are they offering in Real Estate?
Financial Investments?
Mortgage? (oh John!)
or perhaps Plumbing?
Electrians? (hi Matt!)
The point is, go to some classes that are a BIT DIFFERENT for you.
In general, I find the ones which are 1 night, 1 or 2 days, weekend thingamagibbers are the better investment of your time if it is a topic which you are not personally wanting really to DEVELOP your knowledge of.
Stretch yourself... a little as my friend, Sue Crutcher, Life Coaching and Empowerment through Baby Steps
would recommend. Baby Steps here. Don't commit to the time and expense of a 13 week class that you do NOT want to take.
However, while you are there, you MUST make an effort to meet and chat up the Others if you actually want to GET MORE DATES!
Enjoy and Stretch!
All the best,
April Braswell
Romance Coach, Online Dating Coach
Yes, I'm milking my theme of SUMMER SCHOOL!
Cause it is SO much FUN!
And thank GOD as a Romance Coach and Online Dating Coach, I am ALL about FUN!
Well, and the seriousness of creating intimacy in relationships.
Soooo, today in my Go To Summer School theme, I would like to add another category.
The Computer
My good buddy, Tim Birch, The Answer Man, nearly stole my thunder by mentioning that in his comments today. That's his style. Think Creatively. Provide GREAT IDEAS. Think Ahead.
Pick up the bulletin from your community college or high school evening classes, even the Learning Annex and others. They are all offering various COMPUTER related classes. The really GOOD ones to take are the ones that do things like teach you HTML in 1 day. Maybe 2 or 3. It stretches your brain. Provides you will some NEW SKILLS (leaning HTML is like learning Word, ok? Yes, I want to get GOOD at it because to me it is SO BASIC.).
And while you are at it... you WILL meet some new people! You can ask questions of your instructor. the people next to you. Solicit for help. Learn during coffee breaks why everyone ELSE is taking the class...
Men, you WILL meet some ladies here.
But I HAVE to say, LADIES (ooooo! floral embroidered hankie wavy to get your attention), YOU will MEET MORE MEN! Ladies, you want to meet a LOT more men? Getteth thyself to a computer oriented class. Trust me!
Enjoy and HAVE FUN!
All the best,
April Braswell
Romance Coach, Internet Dating Coach
As much FUN as yesterdays blog post was and indeed an excellent example of why I'm so good as Romance Coach and Online Dating Coach because I AM a team player (did you FEEL that yesterday? I'll bet you did! 
). We are IN THIS together for YOUR success. Indeed my success is ONLY possible via YOUR success.
So, back to Summer School.
It is SUCH a fun time of year.
Get out and learn a few new things.
Check out your Adult Ed classes at your community college. They have classes all summer long and they also have little ONE DAY seminars.
Try some NEW things!
With the one day-ers, you can try MORE different things.
With the classes that meet for WEEKS you can leverage FAMILIARITY for creating your most Attractive and Magnetic self with others. We are more attracted to those we KNOW. Well, to an extent. A LITTLE mystery early on is a GOOD THING. It foster CURIOSITY. and THAT is a good thing.
So? Need some more details?
I'm thinking FINANCIAL INVESTMENTS.
Frankly, with the Recession, you probably need to learn a few more things.
Do you have disability insurance that is short term that will kick in IMMEDIATELY if you are disabled?
Do you have a 6 month nest egg?
I know.
You're working on these things.
But these are some great topics both to learn about and the people who attended are a bit more seriously minded. I LOVE meeting people at bars, but the CONTEXT IS different. People learning about long term investments are naturally NOW thinking..... LONG TERM.
How about a LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP with that insurance package?
Enjoy!
Mazel tov!
April Braswell
WOW!
Can you BELIEVE it is almost JUNE 2008!
Yup, May 2008 is wrapping up and coming to an end.
If you are playing over at Google Zeitgest, you will see what is one people's minds...
Britney Spears, a perennial favorite.
And some TRAVEL sites.
What are we all starting to think about?
SUMMER VACATION!
Well, in my work as a Romance Coach and Online Dating Coach, where my goal with you is to create a Life Partner/Marriage Relationship, not just get more dates (but it STARTS there!) one of my suggestions (I have ENDLESS Easy Dating Tips, you will NEVER remain in a rut with me, just ask Baby Steps Lifestyle Coach,
Sue Crutcher!) is to GO TO SUMMER SCHOOL!
There are SO many things you could learn this summer!
Just THINK about it!
You could work on your French at the Alliance Francaise! Or How to Negotiate ANYTHING Better! in either English OR Finnish!
You could get Sabrina Peterson to work on your GUT and your overall fitness. When she says, "I fix people." Don't worry! It's not what you think!
And while you are trying to improve your middle, you'll want to check out Chiropractic Miracles
with Dr. Michael Roth of SoCal who can also help you leverage all that weight loss and fitness work you are doing with Miss Sabrina by Knowing Your Body Type!
Frankly, after you've lost your first 20 lbs, your clothes will start to HANG too loose on you and you will start to feel the lure and the pull to the Mall to do some Clothes Shopping, BUT WAIT! Don't venture over there without first having a wardrobe consultation with Image Consulting Expert Jennifer Skinner first! Then it is SAFE to pull out your plastic!
Well, if you've been pulling out your plastic a bit tooooo much recently and you are worrying about Your Credit and Mortgage Woes you'll want to arrange a Credit and Mortgage seminar session with John Wadsworth. After you've gotten that squared away, you'll be delighted to learn more about Golf from him. Not that I'm saying he swings, mind you... But I'll bet his TWIN boys (he SURELY could have used some EXPERT Baby Sitting Advise from Boston HOTTEST mom, Lisa McLellan! If you ask NICELY and say PRETTY PLEASE, I'll bet she'll give you an autograph! When she's through blushing and then happily gushing over her children, and YOURS!) are DARLING, sweethearts, and heart breakers (sweet, tall, handsome and oblivous!). If ever they had gotten to be TOO much of a handful, he could have listened to the wise advise and learned a few things from the trenches from Teen Advice expert on the need to give Tougher Love so they know you really DO love them.
After you've had your middle work and your back adjusted, you might feel a yen to head on over to the beach at some point this summer and follow the sage Sales Training, Leadership Training of the founder of The Sales and Leadership Institute and want to BEACH it with your laptop while building your business AND your tan.
BUT WAIT!
Don't forget the SPF! as Dr. Peter Helton would advise for Making Your Skin Look Beautiful without Surgery. Of course he'd like you to lay off the coffee, too, but that's a harder pitch than the 35SPF sunscreen. A Corporate Veil without TRUE protection won't be enough as Rob Northup will tell you for your business as SPF is for your skin. And SPEAKING of PROTECTION (yes, USE a condom!) Making Business and Construction Insurance EASY to understand expert, Sonya Lenzo, can help teach you about how to protect yourself with insurance in addition to incorporating.
Frankly after a day of shopping at the mall for your new wardrobe, you are probably feeling VERY stressed. I'd recommend you take a course in Self-Hypnosis then from the UK's leading hypnotist, David Power.
If that's not enough, you could learn a few things about TRAVEL and may need to book your holiday as the UK's leading personal life coach, Yann Vernier,calls what we call a VACATION. WHO else but The Road Warrior could help you plan your IDEA Summer Vacation? His? HOME!
With the economy in the state of Stagflation that we are in, before you book your travel through Scott, you'll want to check the economic forecast of your destination with Aaron Agostini. And just because he is a besotted newlywed does NOT mean he sees it all through Rose Tinted glasses.
While you are looking for TO WHERE TO TRAVEL you might want to consider HOW you will get there and consider leveraging some Alternative Energy sources with Matt Shields. Of course, since he is young, single, and HOT, one might argue that HE is an alternative energy source....
Perhaps you have QUESTIONS? Well, Tim Birch, aka, The Answer Man, has answers to EVERYTHING about making YOU better! And if you need help with COOL STUFF on the web, well, naturalmente, you'll be reaching out to Andrew Records (not a recording label) to help e-teach you.
When you want to learn more about How to STOP SMOKING NOW! you'll want to check in with Michelle Matteson to learn a thing or two! Plus she is as CUTE as a BUTTON! (oh and SINGLE! waving of red flag! email me, I'll arrange an Encounter..... aka A Date! She is TOO CUTE to remain on the market for long. You've been forewarned. You snooze, you lose, fellas.....).
If you or a loved one is approaching 50 you might want to learn more about Crohns Disease And Colitis - Turning Down the Pain.
Now that you have conquered pain, disease, your gut, your finances, and your smoking, you are LOOKING MAHVELOUS!
Frankly, it is SO time to POST YOUR ONLINE DATING PROFILE!
And that's where I come in. BTW, you will need some HELP (trust me, we ALL need some help in this) with really CRAFTING a great online profile. Frankly, your profile is your Sales Letter to the Romance World. Yes, that means, Copywriting Made Simple will be necessary.
Then once you've done that, well, you'll be Irresistibly Attractive.
Enjoy!
God bless and God Speed!
April Braswell
Romance Coach, Online Dating Coach, Dating Advice and Tips, Internet Dating Tips
Hi Folks,
I'll post here way later tonight!
TGIF and have FUN!
All the best,
April Braswell
Romance Coach, Online Dating Coach, Dating Advise and Tips, Internet Dating
Yup. It's that time of month again....
Girls Night Out!
We're going to some wine bar... it'll be good for me to TRY SOMETHING NEW.
All you single men reading this today, getteth thee to a wine bar, and you will probably meet chicks! I mean, women. lol!
OK. Yes, I'm being super brief. Must head out the door for the office.
All the best,
April Braswell
Romance Coach, Online Dating Coach
I got one of those emergency phones calls Saturday night from a client....
Yes.
Calling me on her cell phone from the ladies room.
"April, can't I just leave through the back door?"
NO!
Ladies, we are ladies. We can be audacious, bold, fabulous and brazen at times, but we are GRACIOUS to the core. OK? So we leave with GRACE, POISE and APLOMB.
We do NOT leave through a back door!
Through the front door we entered, and through the front door we shall exit.
"But what do I do?" she pleaded with me over our cell phones.
Now that you are in this mess, here is PRECISELY what I recommended to her to do and say.
First, I did ascertain that the meal had been finished. We are not talking about leaving in the middle of things. We are just trying to wrap things up.
So, go back out to the table.
Sit down. Sip your water. Turn and SWEETLY and GRACIOUSLY utter these words,
"Thank you for dinner, Bob, Dave, Mohammad (insert his name). I've so enjoyed meeting you. You're such an interesting man. (pause, breath, exhale, you CAN do this!) But I just don't FEEL we are a match. Good luck in your search."
Now get up and LEAVE. Walk out with grace.
Just so the men know, I have had the EXACT same scenario with male clients calling me. Saturday night. Dinner/Comedy Club, and it's Date0 and all he wants to do is RUN to the nearest exit.
Normally, you would do this after the check has arrived, been paid, etc. and around then. When he graciously pays is WHEN I always (always!!!!!) thank him for the lovely dinner. I don't care WHAT you ate. It was LOVELY of him to do so, to provide this for you. Thank him!
You made an effort to look BEAUTIFUL (gentlemen, our expenses for the meal are in all we do to prepare and look beautiful. You don't want to know what it costs for good skin care prods, mani/pedis. Just trust me. That is OUR expense.). In my client's case, I KNOW this to be a fact. She made an effort. Please tell me, ladies who are reading this, YOU did make an EFFORT to look beautiful, right?
Now before any of you start commenting and putting in your two bits about what to do/not do, let me interrupt right now.
I helped her in this emergency. But it was a stop gap approach.
Because the very SCENARIO was the actual problem.
WHAT was she doing arranging for a full dinner date on Saturday night for Date0 ?!!!!
THAT was the problem.
Saturday night is like Prom night.
It is DATE NIGHT.
It is loaded.
Ahhhhhhhhhh, talk about pressure.
For dear folks who are just getting back into the swing of dating again perhaps after divorce, or a 3 yr relationship that did NOT result in marriage, I recommend they take it SLOWLY. Do NOT start out of the gate with a Saturday Night Date. Too much pressure. Too high an expectation is set.
For Date0 I recommend (demand? require? Ok, you still have free will, but just know I DID forewarn you here.) meeting on a week night date for cocktails and appetizers.
This is so lovely and low key. A little alcohol and soft lighting, and we are all happier anyway. If you don't drink, just have some lovely sparkling water or juice. The AMBIANCE is perfect for a date. Soft lighting adds to the flirtation.
Share an appetizer. See, sharing a food item creates rapport. You have to communicate but just only a little to reach an agreement. More excellent practice.
Timeframe 60-90 minutes. This can augment that feeling that men can start to experience of "I don't want to be a meal ticket." For Date0, usually you are NOT having dinner. Sometimes you will, but as a strong guideline, you're not. So the men refrain from feeling financially used. And the women can feel safe and leave room to feel cherished and treated well.
Do NOT meet at Starbucks.
Meeting at Starbucks for Date0 was perfectly cool and fabulous for Online Dating back in 1998-2000. But this is 2008. Now it is full of teenagers. And they are like chaperones for your date. NOT creating the MOOD for flirtation. Sort of like having your high school buddies WATCHING you the whole time. They all KNOW what is going on. You just CAN'T relax and relax into your flirting style with that much scrutiny going on.
You can still meet for coffee, but you do so at The Four Seasons. It costs just about the same, really. But trust me, the ambiance is more fitting for an adult (vs. teenage) date. Gracious. Leisurely. Room for conversation.
There will be times when you will have 3 -7 all within rapid succession. I am DELIGHTED for you when that is the case. You will be practicing your fundamentals of expressing and communicating what you want/don't want and checking in periodically with the other person. The give and take is necessary.
So, with that, have about 4 places you like to go.
As the gentleman, suggest a place displaying your leadership. Or best, do some research online for where you want to take her (i.e. Yelp) suggest a place which is near her, because for the first few dates, you need to go where she is. For Date0 you HAVE to do this. For a variety of reasons, but #1 is for her physical safety. And as a man, I know you want to protect us, naturally. Thank you. We love that and appreciate it.
Ladies, have 4 places you like to go so when he graciously asks you where you would like to go for your..., you have a reply. Sometimes I will lob this back to him, but really, when they ask, just have an answer. However, being FEMININE and wanting to encourage and foster his masculine lead (ooooo! flutter, flutter, bat, bat), I suggest you respond with something like, "Well there is X place or Z place. What were you thinking would be good?"
And then let him CHOOSE and lead. And whatever he chooses, accept it. You will be able to find something to eat.
Now you want to have a few places to offer up to him so you don't go to the same place 4 nights in a row and have your waiter/waitress start to say something. "Hey, it's you again. Wow, you come here EVERY DAY. Did you want The Usual?"
We all know you're dating, but we don't need to have our noses rubbed in it, OK? The men know we are in demand. They just don't want to know precisely.
So the best way to leave a dreadful date is to set it up for being lovely!
But if you HAVE to, yes, you can call me. And I'll help you get out the door with grace and aplomb. Remember, he is a human being across the table from you. Have boundaries, yes, you don't have to stay forever. But DO be gracious.
All the best,
April Braswell
Romance Coach, Online Dating Coach
