8 posts tagged “coffee”

Yup. 

Set the alarm for a DIFFERENT TIME.

I can hear you now,  Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!

Ok. so for dating.  for romance.  we need, what?  yes, CHEMISTRY!

In my work as a Romance Coach and Online Dating Coach, as part of the whole strategy I work out with my clients, I do recommend they try some different things to shake things up a bit BECAUSE  our DIFFERENCES foster chemistry.

Soooo, are you an early morning person?

Get up 1 hr later and go for a walk around your hood NOW.  You will run into and be seeing people who get up a bit later than you.

If you are NOT an early morning person (me, me, me!  although, really I can get up at 6 am, but with discipline, then the HABIT resets my internal alarm clock.), set you alarm for 1 hour earlier and get up and go take that same walk.

No do NOT set your alarm clock for 1 hr earlier and then hit the snooze button until it's the same our you normally get up!  (you are wondering, "April, how could think I could do that - [merde, she understands me TOO entirely well!]?" ahhh, cause I've DONE that?  Not the habits I want to establish or model, but I'll just be truthful that I HAVE done this...... )

After your walkies, go to Starbucks or Peets.  You will SEE different people there now than you usually do, don't you?

That is just ONE simple idea.  Do it for 1 week.  Do it for both days on the weekend.  Whatever works.  You WILL see and meet DIFFERENT people than you normally do.

Have fun!

All the best,

April Braswell
Romance Coach, Online Dating Coach

Judy Munroe, Jennifer Skinner, April Braswell

I can already see Steve Chambers, Leadership Training, John Wadsworth, Mr. Mortgage, Credit, and Real Estate Finance, and Tim "Sell or Die" Birch, and maybe even Mr. Energy Man himself, Matthew Shields - Energy Expert, will feel compelled to comment on that title.  Well, it's after midnight, so I was feeling audacious and went ahead and included it.

So, it's Wednesday.

Do you know where your next date is coming from?

Hmmm.

That's why you're here reading all of my tips.

Back to your ROUTINE.

What do you NORMALLY do on YOUR Wednesday?

Coffee?  Try McDonalds instead of Bucks or Peets,

I need to get gas.  I'll use a DIFFERENT station and YUP, I'll get out of my car, did I mention I'll look fabulous?  Hair DONE.  Make up fully on.  Cute colors and businessy.  Go inside.  Pay cash.  Chit chat.  I usually use Valero on El Camino.  Instead I'll use the station on Marsh Road.

Hmmm.  LUNCH TIME!  Well, as a matter of fact, I have an unusual errand I have to run.  PERFECT!  I have to get my fabulous St John's Couture Knit suit blocked and ready for my weekend in Philly with Motivational Speaker, Kevin Hogan. 

The GREAT MALL is a schlep and a half away from my office.  So, I'll head out a little early and get to the mall during peak business.  If I can manage it, I'll even aim to be there a touch early.  I'll run into more MEN that way.  Find something to eat there.  TOTALLY different than my usual lunch.

Notice how this is a GOOD thing?

What are two small things you could do differently today to ensure you are simply MEETING new people?

Post them in the comments section, "April, here's what I'm doing differently today to meet more new people...."  I love hearing the stories.

Of course, Steve is on the road, so he's meeting LOTS of new people.

I just might have a special guest tomorrow if I get to meet our Mystery Man, Success Coach, Yann Vernier.  He'll be in my hood as of tomorrow.  Aren't you CURIOUS to know what he looks like?  I'll take pix!

All the best,

April Braswell
Romance Coach, Online Dating Coach

Eeeeek! 

Ok, I am flying out to Philly in just a few days for Kevin Hogan, Motivational Speaker
's Image Take Away weekend.

And I have to PRACTICE for my presentation.

Of course, I can talk for HOURS about my topic.  Just ask John.  He phoned me the other day to ask me an embedded hyperlink question.  And I talked about Romance Coach, Online Dating Coach topics for more than 1 hour with him.  Bless his heart!

So, let's stick with that idea of PRACTICE.

A number of my clients are in some kind of a rut.

Oh April, I've tried EVERYTHING already.

April, there is NO ONE near me.

I believe you.  That's ok.

Does that belief help you get into the romantic relationship you want?

Does it help them?

No.  And they say that.  "No. It doesn't."

That's right.   No it doesn't.  And you CAN find and create a wonderful romantic relationship.

There's hope for you.  Really it's easy to do.  And yes, it will take some EFFORT, but you've already been making an effort.

I'm just here to help you actually FOCUS all of your efforts towards your goal of a wonderful long-term successfully fulfilling romantic relationship.

You will go on 10 days in the next 2 weeks.  If it takes you 2.5 weeks, that's OK.

OK, I think THAT number is easier for women than men, but AIM for that.  I'll give you a B+ if you go on 7 dates.

1.  Ladies, post a personals on Craigs List for area.  No, you don't have to post a photo.  You will get about 25 responses within 10 hours.  3 of them will be married men looking for extra-curriular activities.  1 will be a man hoping you will go with him to a Sex Club because he can't GET IN without a woman, you won't have to do anything, but would you go with him please?  And that leaves you with 21.   MEET THEM.  Do NOT try to do a  TON of pre-qualifying here.  Unlike Steve Chamber's excellent blog post pertaining to Sales Training, Leadership Training
and QUALIFYING them before you meet, the GOAL here is to SHIFT your energy and PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE.

Coffee dates are acceptable here.  Normally I nix those.  This is an exercise.  Wine bars would be better.  S.N.O.B. is a fantastic choice if you live in the SF area.  Fab wine.  Sweet ambiance.  And it's just a little unique!

Oh, btw, I have a BEAUTIFUL GF who did an ad at CL.  Met her fiance that way.  So, while this IS an exercise (I can see you are gritting your teeth!), it CAN bear direct fruit!  Have fun and KEEP AN OPEN MIND!

2. Men, if you have to, go to a different bar every night.  Ask girls for their cards. "I'd like to go out with you.  How is this Thursday? (Friday, Saturday, Sunday brunch, Sunday evening, Monday night)

At the end of your two weeks, you will find you have met people you had NOT met before.

Your perspective will have opened up and you will SEE and EXPERIENCE that there ARE more people out there who MIGHT be a good fit for you.

Perhaps you will have a new hiking buddy, a new Jazz Club afficionado. Know someone in the Mayor's Office.  Dated a public figure.  Have tried 3 new lipstick colors.

Now leverage that momentum and go on some MORE dates!

Of the 10 you met, 2 or 3 will be contenders for a second date.

Have FUN!

All the best,

April Braswell
Romance Coach, Online Dating Coach

Well, it's Monday morning.

Have you made your coffee yet? 

Ok, so I DO believe in being frugal and not going OUT and buying a cup of coffee every day.  So normally I am making a pot of coffee at home.

HOWEVER!  If you are single and you haven't been on a date this weekend....

Or you DID go on dates this weekend and there really aren't going to be any date #2s of out these....
then you could go to a coffee joint and get some coffee in a public place.  Put this in your dating budget.  You have one, right?

So!  You've tried EVERYTHING!  You've EXHAUSTED all of your resources around you?  You're friends - marrieds and singles have no more friends or acquaintances with which to fix you up.

And you're still not engaged.

Now what?

Go hiking!

Look up for your metro area all the hiking clubs.

What churches in your area meet for a monthly hike?  Get on their email list.  Better still, pick up the PHONE and talk to the leader.   Introduce yourself.  I'm Bob, I'm 33 and quite fit.  Are there different fitness levels in the group?  That's OK?  Good.

Sierra Club

Absolute Adventures

Go Google athletic and adventure clubs in your metro area.

Place an add in Craig's Iist looking to form a hiking group of singles.  Arrange to meet for breakfast at iHop or Denny's first so you all gaggle, socialize and feel safe with each other, and then go for a hike.

Check out the training classes at REI, Northface or the local outdoors outfitter store near where YOU live.

Now shift 10 miles north.  Or 25 miles east.  Or 37 miles south.

Expand your radius just a little so you stretch yourself.

Feeling in a rut?

Plan a trip to get away and just GO SOMEWHERE different.  Check out Scott Bell, The Road Warrior's website for some travel ideas.

MOVE/shift your body.

I'll continue in the same direction tomorrow.

Trust me, you have NOT met everyone and you have NOT exhausted your metro area.  Expand your vision.

You're going to have more fun AND meet new people!

God bless and God speed!

April Braswell
Romance Coach, Online Dating Coach

Yup.  It's Sunday.  First of all, in my life, this is the most important day of the year.  Yes, it's my birthday.  Why does that make it the most important day of the year for me?  Cause I am REALLY REALLY glad to have BEEN born and to BE ALIVE!

You will definitely notice laced throughout my blog and My Website, April Braswell, Romance Coach, Online Dating Coach that THEME of LIVE! LIVE! LIVE!  I already had that tendency before I met my late husband.  And indeed, he was drawn to my unique combination of beauty and vivacity.  (I know, it's true, I AM having too much fun.  Wanna join me?  It's contagious. You'll have fun 2!)  Something I really got to LIVE OUT with walking along side him with his battle with cancer was to treat him LIKE A MAN throughout, not an invalid or a patient, never doing FOR him what he could do himself, helping HIM to do it, but he did it.  And to LIVE UNTIL WE DIE.  too many people are so caught up in the fears for our security in usually our jobs and sometimes our relationships (like marriage becomes a prison or the fear of it keeps us single, like, forever) that we never take the risks to LIVE.  Take some risks in communication.

Soooo, what about TODAY, you're wondering.  You're probably already thinking to yourself,  "She's ALREADY advised that I try out a different CHURCH.  April has GOT to suggest something NEW and DIFFERENT!"

Yup.  And I'm gonna.  But remember, you have a list now of like, 23 churches you can go try out.  Don't go into cognitive dissonance and overwhelm, just make a list, put a Sunday date next to it, but those in your calendar and ROTATE!

And for today?  Where am I going to send you?

To the Laundromat!

Yup, I GOTTA do laundry.  I have reached what I refer to as The Laundry Imperative.

I actually have SOME clothes left which I can wear.  And while I LOVE Jennifer Skinner's Blog on The VERY Small Closet I'm just not THERE yet (it's a process, I know she'd support me in this and the de-layering of casting off clothes.  And yes, I have 2 more outfits that are GOING!).  In fact, it's part of the side effect of NOT having a Washer Dryer that I have collected more clothes so I can go longer between laundromat runs.  Like back in college when you'd buy MORE underwear so you could go longer without having to hang in the laundry room?  Similar.

Soooo, on one hand, oye, yes, Laundromats are BUSY on the weekends!

But if you are single, that is the whole point!

GO WHEN IT IS BUSY!

You WILL meet people.

OK, some of the single men have been asking me to give more scripts for MEN to use here. 

Men, you can ALWAYS safely ask a woman about laundry.  "Tide?  Do you find that's really better than the generic?  What do you like about it?"  (Notice the second sentence was an open ended sentence.  The point here is for her to speak a sentence to you, not just utter, as "Yes" or a "No.")  "Really.  That's great.  Do you like any of the dryer sheets?  Which ones?"  Once your laundry is in the washer or in the dryer, "hey, I was going to go around the corner and grab a coffee at Starbucks.  Can I bring you back a latte?  Would you like to join me?"

That is not even a coffee date.  That is like in college when you'd grab a bite to eat.  This is just friendly banter and a coffee.  You're just NATURALLY and CASUALLY meeting and connecting with women.  It's like a mutual compliment.  You don't even have to be HUGELY enamored of her.  The point is PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE. 

Now of course, if you DID find her fabulous and attractive (oh no, you're beautiful and brainy! toe curling combination, I get this all the time.  They can't stand it.), be a MAN, and say, "Leslie, I'd like to take you out on a REAL date.  [omg, yes, you used THAT WORD - Date!  ahhhh. But we're adults here and you're good with that.]  Can I get your phone number so I can call you?"  And if you're really really good and want to distinguish yourself MASSIVELY as a man, you'll say, "I want to take you out on a real date.  How is Friday night for you?  7 o'clock?"  Just be ready to catch her cause she's going to fall out of her chair and her mouth will be slightly agape.  As she closes her mouth, the words that will come out of her mouth will be.... "Yes."  Or "Yes, that sounds like fun!"

Now go back and fold your laundry.  After she says yes, go ahead and shoot me an email and let me know how it goes!  apriljbraswell@aol.com

Mazel tov!

April Braswell
Romance Coach, Online Dating Coach

Thank you to everyone who commented and wrote to me about their praying for Zig Ziglar.  Indeed, he is a living legend and testimony to genuine caring and helping people.  Kinda like someone a number of us here know and love, just ... younger....  (Kevin Hogan - Motivational Speaker, Humanitarian).  Zig's surgery went very well.  Thank you for your prayers.  Everything went according to plan.  Just click that link for Zig's health updates.

So, it is about to become Saturday morning.

GET UP!
GET SHOWERED!
and GET OUT!

Ladies, time and again, I do really really well with meeting MEN early Saturday mornings.  What is it about men that gets them up and at 'em Saturday mornings?  (When I just want to stay in bed, snuggling my pillow, or getting up and leisurely drinking my Peets coffee.  mmmmm.)  But men?  they are UP and OUT!

So ladies, when you are still single, you MUST do this as well and go place yourself sweetly, dressed nicely, yes, you showered and did your make up (lightly, yes?  It is Saturday morning and not time for the ENCORE! gala, right? so, less is more, ok?).

Go get a coffee.

Walk around.

Explore the farmers market.  Go online and find where there are some farmers' markets in your area.

While you are there buying excellent produce, chat people up.  "Oh, are those heirloom tomatoes?  I hear those are the best!  How are some ways I could serve them? You don't say".  The other people at the same vendor booth will also chime in with THEIR recipes.  People are naturally helpful that way.  We are.  You will end up in conversation with a number of people.  Thank them for their great help.  "Oh, really.  That recipe sounds great.  Could you email that to me, please?  Here's my email address."

You do have personal cards right, yes? 

OK, we'll go over those in another blog post.  Just go with it right now.

Take a walk along the hiking trails.  You have your coffee in hand and are walking at an even pace, sipping your coffee.  Just nod, smile, and utter those polite nice little "Hello"s to people you pass .  No need to push yourself upon them.  But you're going to be back here again the same time next week and next.  We become more comfortable with people upon repeated exposure, as Kevin Hogan, PhD, cited in his popular book, Irresistible Attraction.  BE that attractive person they just keep SEEING early every Saturday morning.  Who knows?  Will they talk with you this morning?  Or will you find something to comment about concerning your surrounding to draw them into a short conversation with you. Aim for 2 or 3 sentences only.  If they are interested, they will respond with a few sentences of their own.  If not, only 2 or 3 sentences is simply warm and polite.  You have not thrust yourself upon them.  Smile and wish them a pleasant walk.  If they start to talk with you, SMILE and be light in your responses.

Enjoy the day and your new adventures!

God bless,

April Braswell
Romance Coach, Online Dating Coach

Peets in Brentwood

I've been sharing a number of EASY DATING TIPS as a Romance Coach for you to meet more people which will lead to more dates.

So, tomorrow is Wednesday, that means I will be going DANCING at Upstairs at Beardsley's at the Italian American Social Club.

What about you?

Will you stay at home on the coach?

Or will you GET OUT?

I'd recommend, GET OUT.

So, check out Business and Technology networking events.
Chamber of Commerce.
Events cited at Facebook.
SDForum
SVASE
DealMaker Media

GO.

Have a glass of wine or a cup of coffee.  Make a point of chit chatting with people about whatever your work is.  Of course, I get to share the fun response to that question of, "and what do YOU do, April?"  I'm a Romance and Dating coach.  I help single people get more dates, a LOT more dates, to develop the romantic relationships we all want and crave.  What about you?"

And they are like, "No wait.  You're WHAT?  Oh cool.  Really?  Wow. I could sure use some help like that."  Or, "I'm married, but my cousin could really use your help."

It's FUN.

Now the point here is, you are MORE LIKELY to get more dates with people if you are out and about and interacting with people, NEW people, then you staying at home.

Have you tried a Salsa class yet?

Or did you venture out today at lunch?

Did you try a new coffee place for your morning cap fix?

Get out there and have some FUN!  And while you're doing that, you will RADIATE attractiveness and GET MORE DATES.  They will lead to... ROMANCE!

All the best!

April Braswell

I can see my friend Sue Crutcher and I are very aligned.  Indeed, her post about Baby Steps for your health relates very well with the advise I give to my Romantic Relationship clients - do some NEW THINGS - little ones - each week.  Shake up your calendar.  GET OUT OF YOUR RUT!

If all that you are doing RIGHT NOW would have connected you with your LOVE PARTNER, you'd already be in that relationship.

But you're not.....

So, you need to do something different!

Now, a few Guerilla Love Tactics are always fun to really shake things up, but even something as simple as buy your morning coffee from a DIFFERENT location. 

Go to the coffee place en route home in the evening to restock your beans.

Gasp, go to a different dry cleaners.

In general, I recommend to take out your weekly calendar.  Over the course of 7 days, insert at least 2 NEW/Different things.

They are incremental changes, but when done in concert with other parts of a Total Vision, they can make a difference.

Certainly one  of which is they shake up our mental filters and make us more CONSCIOUS of where we are and SEE the people there now.  And just maybe you'll meet someone, don't you think?

God bless,

April Braswell
www.AprilBraswell.com