15 posts tagged “christmas”
All your Christmas shopping is done by now...
Just a quick note to wish all of you and yours a very Merry Christmas.
What will you be doing with yours?
How will you be spending it?
I don't want any of the single guys and single gals who read my Easy Dating Tips blog to feel bad today if they don't have a boyfriend or girlfriend like for New Year's Eve date.
Today, relax. Enjoy the day.
We'll get back to your romantic sex social life AFTERWARDS.
Today?
Merry Christmas
Joyeux Noël
Feliz
Navidad
Frohe Weihnachten
Natale allegro
Maligayang Pasko
Boas
Festas
Christmas Alegre
Glaedelig Jul
All the best,
April Braswell
The other day, Consumer Marketing Expert, Philip Graves, asked me about if I ever recommend for dating singles to take a break from dates.
Yes, I do.
Well, sort of.
As an Online Dating Coach and Dating Expert, I only work with committed motivate singles who are working towards a specific goal: dating more (how many dates p/week, something) or wanting to create a committed life partner relationship. not a casual dater.
Think of is a marketing or sales strategy... of yourself.
Well, yes, over a period of a few months, you will need some time to step away and recharge. There are natural occurrences of such perfect times in the yearly calendar. Yes, right NOW is something of such a time. Like you're going to find a Singles Dance on Christmas Day to attend? Not likely. So, if you're single, you might recharge and just spend that day with friends and family, connecting, not specifically marketing yourself. Although DO feel free still to look your best, because that is your sartorial habit now, right?
Also, right after a break up, I recommend about a long weekend's worth of wound licking. A pint of Haagen Daz ice cream (1 pint, not a quart! lol!), several chick flicks or the male equivalent, a round of cosmos with the girls or a Sunday afternoon of beer, pizza, and football with the guys.
Then, get back up on the horse Monday. OK, maybe Tues. (I'm compassionate and forebearing that way.)
Move on.
Really, THE main reason is because of how the brain works, I DON't want them to wither away and moan over the relationship that wasn't the right fit for them.
THE best way to reprogram the brain is RIGHT THEN to go on a LOT more dates. You really don't FEEL like it at that point. However, this is the time to leverage the power of your rational mind, keep your focus on your goal and the pathway there and keep moving forward. To look back too much only keeps your brain in an endless loop of pain because the relationship did not continue as you has wanted for some reason.
The other time is sort of like with the sales or product life cycle, you need to pull back and recharge about once a quarter before your new YOU quarterly kick off
Spa days
A facial
I generally recommend that THAT time be only for about 4 days. Past that and you are in a NEW HABIT of NOT dating and NOT doing activities to feed your dating pipeline.
You will have lost all momentum.
Now mind you, life happens.
Stuff happens.
Most of my clients are over 35. Although I do do public speaking at Dating Events for those in their 20s providing my Dating Expertise, like at Speed Dating events. So with the over 35 crowd: more stuff in life happens.
Family illnesses and death.
Let me tell you, when my dad died, indeed, I had a date scheduled for that night. Of COURSE he understood when I canceled and didn't go on a DATE for about 6 weeks. Death. Grief. Perhaps losing a job in the current economy, you might need to recharge and rethink. And maybe even MOVE from your metro area for more opportunities, both economic and romantic.
Great question, Phil. Thanks for asking!
Happy Dating!
All the best,
April Braswell
Online Dating Coach, Romantic Relationship Coach
This week between the Winter Solstice and Epiphany with Christmas in the midst, well, frankly, it's like a dead zone.
It's quite.
NOT a LOT of movement.
Not a lot of energy.
Although....well, for those of you single men and single women who have been faithfully reading my Easy Dating Tips and Advice blog for these oh-so-many months. YOU have been sowing seed. You have been tilling the soil and sowing seed. So YOU have some choices and options, like a Singles Event to go attend on New Years Eve even when it is, yes, out of town.
Because I've been recommending for months for folks in a small town to STRETCH themselves (where's my good buddy, fitness expert for business travels, to help us out here with a stretch demo?) and indeed to drive a few towns OVER or to the nearest metro area or even the NEXT OVER metro area.
For example if you live in San Francisco to bop down to San Jose or up and over to Sacramento. That's a great example of STRETCHING your Dating Market reach.
Now if you haven't been doing ANYTHING for awhile, it's best that you accept some reality and know it could a few weeks to build up some Dating Momentum. Certainly, one of the activities I would recommend to START is to dust things off and go post an Online Dating Profile at the Internet Personals sites. Here's my guide to a number of the best and most DIVERSE ones out there. (I am ALL about dating with diversity, otherwise marriage could become, ah, BORING. And who wants that? None of us.) Internet Dating Sites Guide, Online Personals Sites Review
What you can do in person is this is actually an intriguing 10 days as well. Many people are TRAVELING AWAY for part of this holiday week. Are you? If you are, I'll provide some OUT OF TOWN dating tips in the next few day, so check back for those.
If you are a single guy or single gal who is stayin local, well, DO go to the coffee houses. Do visit a number of the local businesses which are all being NEGLECTED. Just stop in. Say hi. Buy a coffee or tea. Because it is a little quieter and more empty, you STAND OUT as a local. Chat people up. "Oh, hey, staying in town for the holidays? Me too. Sure is quiet isnt' it? Really nice that way, isn't it?"
OK, those were FOUR sentences you can utter to ANY stranger out there. Perfectly innocuous. And also has QUESTION MARKS in THREE of them, opening it up so you MIGHT get... a RESPONSE.
Just gently lob the convo back and forth.
If they are a married person, that is perfectly fine. This is just gracious conversation and light flirtation that just tells them, "YOU are an ATTRACTIVE person." And WHO doesn't like to hear that in a message every day.
OK. GO.
1. Stretch Actitivity Out of City/Town
2. Post Online Dating Profile at ANOTHER website to expand your reach
3. Hang at QUIET local places
That's THREE. I was in a generous mood. It's the Christmas Season!
Happy Dating!
All the best,
April Braswell
Online Dating Coach, Romantic Relationship Coach
Yup. I haven't posted for a few days because.....?
I've been dating.
And of course enjoying the holiday festivities. Christmas Parties and Christmas Shopping. Even with the Economy on the downturn, people around here in Silicon Valley are still shopping for the Holidays. Indeed, we are all being a bit more frugal. The restaurants for my dates haven't been packed. Busy. Just not PACKED like they are when the economy has been strong. It'll be interesting to see after Barack Obama's January 2009 Inauguration what he puts in place.
What about you?
How is your dating and romantic life going?
For the singles who follow me, the single gals, single women, and single guys and single men, have you been diligently making efforts to meet new people each day and interact with them?
I've been making some interesting new connects on Twitter. Twitter is a cool new (ish) Social Media tool. And not only can you connect and follow people there. Once connected, most allow you to send Direct Messages to each other.
Now, do refrain from spamming others.
However, think about it. Internet Personals and Online Dating are all SUB NICHES of Social Media.
So, yup, a few men have connected with me there. And it really IS like an Online Cocktail party, where you are wearing your good outfit - me in my little cocktail dress and dazzling smile. Just like with your Online Dating Profile, it is a best practice at Twitter to include a photo of yourself in your Twitter profile. My personality shines through in my tweets, like being in a sparkling animated conversation across the room from someone. And your eyes meet. And I magnetize them to me as a feminine yin woman. The Yang men approach.
It's another super cool tool. You can connect with me there at: April Braswell on TWITTER
It can be cool for your business and cool for dating life!
Happy Dating!
All the best,
April Braswell
Online Dating Coach, Romantic Relationship Coach
Internet Dating Sites Guide, Online Personals Sites Review
Have you finished up your Christmas shopping? Wrapped up everything for you Holidays shopping and presents wrapping?
Me neither.
Perhaps as a single man or a single woman, you were hoping Santa Claus would bring you a new love this year? A girlfriend or boyfriend.
And to help Santa along, maybe you've tried out the Online Dating Sites and leveraged the Internet Personals in your greater metro area.
Good job.
if you are SINGLE and I mean REALLY single, no BF or GF where you may not even yet have mutually negotiated or discussed exclusivity, where you are single single single.
then relax
you are OFF the Hook for the PRESSURES of New Years Eve
In the 1980s movie "When Harry Met Sally," Harry and Sally had an ongoing agreement to be each other's DATE if they were both that dreaded New York city status - Single. Because they didn't want to be pitied and go, gasp, stag to the events that night.
Well, it's too late. If you are NOT coupled up by NOW, Mid-December, it AINT agonna happen in 2 wks. So just breath and relax.
about BECOMING a couple in 2 weeks.
HOWEVER
As a Dating Expert, what I DO recommend is, find some event to attend that evening which is GEARED towards singles.
One lady with whom I consult, she met her beau now of 1 year on New Years Eve at a single soiree in San Francisco.
She lives 35 miles away.
You see her stellar example?
She STRETCHED herself.
She went a little outside of her typical comfort zone.
What about you?
How could you stretch yourself to attend SOMETHING this New Years Eve?
ME? I will be flying across the country. I will be attending a dance. damn I am SURE going to have FUN.
And, yes, there WILL be flirting! (you're surprised, right? lol!)
I will be PRACTICING my dating skill sets and communications skills AND sowing. ya nevah know!
what about you?
DO get out there!
Happy Dating!
All the best,
April Braswell
Online Dating Coach, Romantic Relationship Coach
Internet Dating Sites Guide, Online Personals Sites Review
Wow, it is already JUST past 12 noon here in Silicon Valley. I've neglected my blog posting duties as your Online Dating Coach and Dating Expert due to the constraints of my own single gal's dating life.
And yes, receiving pink roses and chocolates are STILL a fabulous dating attribute which many single women LOVE to receive. Over time, you'll discover what COLOR rose is HER favorite. Like what is generally marketed is that Red Roses are The Rose for Romance expression. And me? I prefer and love... Pink roses. So my beaus and my late husband give me, once they KNEW me, PINK roses. I also really like the rainbow of mixed colors Rose bouquet.
OK folks, if you are SINGLE, it is Saturday night.
Do you have a date?
Perfectly fine if you do NOT.
As an Online Dating Coach and Dating Expert, I generally advise as a best practice NOT to have a Saturday Night date ever be your Date0. Instead, save Saturday night DATES for being a second date or even a third date. Frankly, it is THE treasured date night. It is a PRIVILEGE to gain access to a beautiful single girl's treasured Saturday night calendar. (Although about once a month I do get a phone call from a client from the bathroom of the restaurant where they are having an interminably LONG meal, wanting to know how to ESCAPE.)
If your Saturday night does NOT contain a date, then what are your PLANS to get out and MEET MORE NEW SINGLES this evening?
Yes, inquiring minds DO want to know.
Do some online recon and find some single events to attend.
Singles Dances
Singles Events
Speed Dating Events
Go. Find some, put on an outfit that presents YOU at YOUR best and GO!
Feel free to report back here later about What you found to attend, what you selected to do. Whatever you do, great.
Doing NOTHING is the only thing which will receive a failing grade.
Because then you are only self-perpetuating exactly where are now (if you're wanting to change that, that is) - single, alone, ALONE.
Tomorrow or Monday, I'll talk about New Years Eve.
Happy Dating!
All the best,
April Braswell
Online Dating Coach, Romantic Relationship Coach
Internet Dating Sites Guide, Online Personals Sites Review
Soooo, it is Wednesday night here where I am, and about to turn the clock and become... Thursday.
For all single men and single women, ladies and gentlemen, let me ask you, what're your plans for the weekend?
It's a delightful time when you will get to sleep in so you can stay out LATE if you want to.
Maybe you have some fun Christmas Parties to attend? Some fun Holiday Cocktail parties? If you don't, because so many people ARE cutting back and being more frugal as hosts this year, after you finish with your Christmas list and your Christmas shopping, YOU can still gaggle your friends and go to a bar and make some of your OWN holiday cheer!
Seriously, there is really so much good will going on and LOTS of people are out and about SO much more so than at other times of the year that I really recommend getting out and even hitting like the same bars you formerly would frequent but were sort of fed up with BECAUSE people who normally wouldn't be there are THERE right now.
Trust me, with all of that Christmas shopping, people are feeling a bit stressed and want to unwind, so more of them are WANTING a drink.
Just stop in after work hours during Happy Hour. Have it as your goal just to meet and talk. For this week, don't even grade yourself about how many were single. Just PRACTICE how to flirt with the opposite sex and your body language flirting skills. And, HEY, ya nevah know? You just might MEET someone who is SINGLE also whom you.. find attractive and then.. either flirt so much he asks you for your number (you DID wear your push up bra, right? ok, good. You will feel YOUR most beautiful gorgeous sexy when you do.)... Men, flirt, banter, buy her a drink (orange cosmo, thanks!) and ask for her number.
And just because you HAVE to start thinking about as a single, I'm going to mention 3 dirty words to you....
New Years Eve
We'll talk about that later. Contemplate.
Happy Dating!
All the best,
April Braswell
Online Dating Coach, Romantic Relationship Coach
Internet Dating Sites Guide, Online Personals Sites Review
Yes, sometimes when we are single dating, we need to remain FLEXIBLE! Even during the Christmas holiday shopping season being underway with all the stresses and craziness.
Sometimes that will mean going for drinks on a work night at 9 pm.
Or, sigh, a breakfast Date0. (really NOT my favorite time, but I am the flexible YIN energy, so when they LEAD, I aim to FOLLOW their demonstrating their YANG male leadership unless I really can't make the time/date. or for a moral reason disagree on something)
So, YES, I have a breakfast Date0 tomorrow.
Those who know me and the late night hours I keep, you are LAUGHING aren't you?
Go ahead and laugh. That is part of my job with dating coaching, is to keep a great humorous perspective.
And to provide compassion. Interesting enough, my dating book which will be published in January. There was a section which talks frankly and maturely about sex and I was thinking I might omit it from my book.
And then the last 4 people who heard about it, including one women to whom the information was revelatory and made her feel better about herself all told me "No! Keep it in! I would never have known that otherwise."
So, now I know that some of my sexual audacity is indeed HELPFUL because while using humor like a spoonful of sugar to make the information palatable for the mainstream, I am teaching a few things.
Easy Dating Tip: be flexible with the time of day you accept or plan on dates. best practice, YES, evening after twilight for a Date0 AND remain flexible.
Go get 'im folks!
All the best,
April Braswell
Online Dating Coach, Romantic Relationship Coach
Internet Dating Sites Guide, Online Personals Sites Review
Ok. Yes, I follow my own advise. In the midst of all the Christmas shopping and holiday cheer this December 2008, I met three men while getting my coffee this morning. Little flirtatious convos.
And YES, this was a in a DIFFERENT venue than I normally get my coffee. In fact it was SO delightful I'm thinking to add the venue to my BEST PRACTICES RESOURCES venue list.
REALLY fabulous.
Oh, and they were nice looking (not too handsome), engaging, and one clearly had a great sense of humor.
and you?
for the single men and single women who read my blog, what did you DO to have at least 5 conversations with STRANGERS today? What did you DO to meet AT LEAST 5 new members of the opposite sex. (I'm saying opposite, because while my principles do work for gays and lesbians, my focus is heterosexuals for coaching. HOWEVER, I have a gay dating coach resource I can refer you to if you're wanting another hot man. Searching for a good lesbian dating and relationship coach. When I find one, I'll let you know.)
Report here! and get cracking and have fun with it while you're at it!
All the best,
April Braswell
Online Dating Coach, Romantic Relationship Coach
Internet Dating Sites Guide, Online Personals Sites Review
Sometimes, ok, well, MOST of the time, I am so amused by life.
What did I do today?
I spent the day in a roomful of men.
Sometimes I just goggle (not Google, goggle) at these things. Men really often DO different activities than women.
So ladies, what does that mean for you?
do activities which you are intrigued by but which maybe FEEL a little.... strange for you to do.
Like attend a Scotch or Bourbon Tasting...
Single men? the inverse is true for you as you seek to meet and date more fabulously attractive single women.
Go do activities which feel.. a little strange for YOU to go do: a yoga or pilates class.
yes, you WILL Stretch yourself (had to say it! you saw it coming, didn't you?). which actually IS one of the goals of dating, or life becomes DULL DULL DULL to keep doing precisely what you are doing now forever.
Like eating oatmeal (btw, I LOVE oatmeal!)
every SINGLE day for the rest of your LIFE!
OYE!
Instead, get out there and dooooooooo something different this week.
In fact, do something different.. Monday.
Me? I spent the day in a room full of men with Dr. Kevin Hogan who not only is an internationally acclaimed Reading Body Language Expert, he also inculcates for individuals on how to get rich (slowly and wisely is the best way) and create wealth. Pretty neat, huh?
All the best,
April Braswell
Online Dating Coach, Romantic Relationship Coach
Internet Dating Sites Guide, Online Personals Sites Review
