Online Dating Coach - Easy Dating Tips, what to DO on all those singles dates?
Hi. Much of what my focus for this blog vs. my website is to share a TON of ideas about WHAT to do to MEET more people, especially singles, so you can....
Get More Dates
And I have to say, I am a big proponent of on Date0 when single men and single women who have met via Internet Dating Sites Guide, Online Personals Sites Review that we meet for drinks and apps, namely drinks and appetizers. However, this is merely that, a guideline, a strong suggestion. The other thing is for women who want to be the YIN energy in the romantic sex relationship, that we FOLLOW THE MAN's LEAD for the date. So, I am inculcating for, let HIM choose and suggest WHERE to GO and WHAT to DO, especially for the first few dates.
Then, like with dancing West Coast Swing (The official Dance of the State of California!), once you have established your dancing rapport as a couple, every once in awhile as part of what is FUN and FLIRTATIOUS.... you SWITCH and exchange the lead. After you have been on several dates, the lady can express and ask for more what SHE might be interested in doing on the date. That is switching the lead. However, then GIVE IT BACK to him with that marvelous, treat him like The Respected Man phrase, "...what do you think?" (insert feminine batting of eyelashes)
Pause
Wait
LISTEN for his response
So, with my date last night which WAS a Date0, we had spoken a few times on the phone, had flirted extensively (no surprise there since I was one of the people on the phone....), he invited me out for dinner and a movie. Which meant ACTUALLY more pressure. I actually would have FELT better if we had just met for drinks, had surging chemistry, and then arranged for another date for the dinner and movie thing. But I was OK with his agenda (nothing morally wrong with it). So I did the feminine thing of RECEIVE RECEIVE RECEIVE and thanked him.
He also HAD ALREADY been doing his advance field recon, like the scouts, and knew a few different few types which I enjoy. (Thai, Indian, Chinese) Asked me which of those I would enjoy. I lobbed the lead then back to him after stating (gasp) my opinion and LET HIM LEAD with selecting WHICH restaurant to go to.
Men ENJOY that SMALL research challenge. Some women will lob them some giant challenge, which indeed some men enjoy, however, it can really be OBNOXIOUS. So, I generally suggest refraining from presenting TOO LARGE a challenge to a man until AFTER he has met you and knows he WANTS to pursue you.
Bless his masculine heart which wants to PLEASE the woman he is with, he'd already been ASKING ME about
what kind of food I enjoyed eating
what sort of movies I enjoyed
In truth, I enjoy a variety and expressed that and only voiced really one kind of movie I DON'T enjoy - horror film slashers. I vaguely recall I had admired the new Jame Bond film, and he did suggest that. However, if he'd invited me to something else, I would have GLADLY gone.
Now we are contemplating ANOTHER activity which is about sharing life STUFF.
I actually LOVE hiking.
He'd already, yup, again, been gathering field recon about this. "April, what do you enjoy doing? in your free time? outside of work?"
yeah, well, blogging my brains out apparently! lol!
However, when I get OUT of the house, I LOVE to go hiking, bicycling, movies, and dancing.
All of which make for GOOD STORIES for conversations.
And ACTIVITIES for other dates.
So, we're looking at Hiking for tomorrow.
Now, bless his heart, he is enjoying the masculine research and recon: WHERE TO GO hiking!?
I'm reminded of some of the very very good material from the dating classic, The Rules.
It's in there somewhere. Essentially the authors pointed out, don't ROB the man of the masculine JOY of doing his recon and pursuit behavior. John Gray talks about this as well. A masculine YANG man is wanting to PLEASE his lady. His efforts are like his war spoils. The KILL from the hunt. Our 21st century society offers men so FEW opps to preset his lady fair with his spoils for her to admire.
For God's sake, let him PRESENT you with a few displays of his masculine prowess outside of the bedroom and ADMIRE and EXTOL it!
It's like the animals who present their kill as an offering to their mate.
"Here honey, this wanga beast, it's FER you!"
"Oooo, Reginald, it's LOVELY! You are so strong, valiant, diligent, and discerning to have brought that to me."
And here are two magic words which are "The Secret" to creating masculine love for his woman, a piece of "The Glue" which will hold your romantic relationship together, a Best Practice you can PRACTICE DAILY with every man you meet about SOMETHING he does for you....
"Thank You."
Gaze upon him admiringly (like you just squeezed his biceps or shoulders, nice aren't they?).
Smile softly.
"Thank You."
You are now the feminine balm to his masculine soul.
All the best,
April Braswell
Online Dating Coach, Relationship Coach
Comments
Jenya
Longevity Educator and Coach
The Raw Food Resource
Entertaining and enlightening post, as usual.
Darryl Pace
Fitness, Health, Weight Control
Matthew Shields
Energy Expert
I agree with Jenya. Men need a show off not less than women. And we should help them in this.
Improving Communication in Business and Personal Life
body language blog
You really do have an awful lot of wisdom to share. I come back to the same thought when I read your posts like this one, that any single person I knew would do well to contact you take up your consulting services.
Philip Graves [ Consumer Behaviour Expert]
The Consumer Behaviour Research Resource
Angela Silvestri
Ear Coning Maven
April,
Something to watch out for: the man who is TOO yang and controling. The one whose idea of being masculine is to never consult the woman. <sigh> Learned the hard way.
Jenn
You are the dating expert. You continue to provide great advice and tips for all the singles.
Scott A Bell
The Road Warrioraka Miss YIN CT, aka The Pocket Sized Venus
YES!
Indeed, a Yang man w/a Yin soul = Masculine
Yang ONLY = Dictator/Tyrant
yelch
puh
tweeewie
NOT attractive long run
Look for CHERISHING and PROTECTIVE behavior
opens door for you
shepherds you down busy sidewalk
cuddles AND knows how to shoot a weapon....
You're still detoxing from a JERK!
Here you have some DARLING examples:
Kevin, Dave, Steve, Matt, Scott, John H, I-John (who am I neglecting?). Oh and Fred. He was VERY solicitous of your having FOOD while in NJ. Sweet. and his protective to the point of being ready for a smack down while we were in Henderson.
All the best,
April Braswell
Online Dating Coach, Relationship Coach
Internet Dating Sites Guide, Online Personals Sites ReviewLearn How To Be a Do It Yourself Lawyer
Intuitive John
Cindy
Cindy Eyanson Online
Ooooooo I like this idea April, and you would be so good on Tv as you are so photogenic.
Lisa McLellan
Babysitting Tips, Jobs, and Classes
Sounds great…
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Steve
Persuasion Expert